You Leave Islam, Leave My Life -ON HOLD

2# I Will Never Move On

After two hours of me weeping alone in my bed, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

"Mafuja, please let me in." I heard my Mother say.

"It's not locked. You can open it."

She opened the door. I didn't look at her but I could hear her walking towards my bed. She sat on my bed with a loud sigh.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and gave me a hug.

"Are you stil angry at me?" She asked.

I nodded my head to say yes.

"Please don't be."

I let out a sigh, not knowing what to say to her.

"Look Mafuja, as a Mother it really hurts to see your child turn to the wrong path. It really does. And of course I love Ajmol and I would love for my two children to get along, but after him leaving Islam, it has been really hard for me to cope. Seeing my beautiful son turn astray is really painful. I just couldn't handle it and I don't think I ever will be able to. And I know that if anything like that ever happens to you, then I will probably turn mental. I'm just really worried. I don't know what to do but I know that I won't be able to let you see Ajmol. Well at least not yet. I can't let that happen to you because you're the only child I've got left."

She started to stroke my hair.

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes," I replied. I got why Mum was reluctant to let me meet him but still I want to see Ajmol.

"Okay, I'm glad," She said with a smile.

"Now I'm not going to let you skip breakfast. C'mon, let's go downstairs and eat something," she said with a smile.

I gave her a small genuine smile. I was actually starving and eating sounded perfect right now.

Dad propped his chair next to me and seated himself comfortably and then put his newspaper down on the table.

He must've been reading it the whole morning. No wonder he didn't notice that I was absent from breakfast.

Dad was always like that. He would get too absorbed with his newspapers that he didn't even realize what was happening around him most of the time.

"So who's 14 huh?"

Dad glanced around, acting clueless. He then turned to me and gasped.

"Oh it's you, my favorite daughter! Happy birthday!" he wished me.

All I managed to do was smile with a mouthful of pancakes in my mouth. "So where do you want to go?" he asked.

"For your birthday," he added.

I had already been asked that question before and yet have been asked again. Just like before the answer will be a simple 'I don't know'.

"Still can't think of anywhere?" Mum asked.

She smiled warmly when I looked at her. "No."

My answer was clear. Mum looked up, probably thinking about something. Mum looked back at me.

"Well you know I heard that there's a sale going on at Trafford. If you want to go there, you can," my mum suggests.

A sale? It seemed like a great idea since I could buy some new clothes and also because I had nothing better in mind so I agreed upon it.

"Okay."

"Are you sure? You don't have to go if you don't want to." Mum probably noticed the lack of enthusiasm in my voice. I forced a wide smile on my face, trying to make it as sincere as I could.