Seeing the Sky

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It was cold, the metal that I sat on felt even worse than it has ever. I guess that might be because of the ice bath I was forced to take. The bath was filled to the brim with water and ice, and I'm pretty sure there was more ice than water. What made it worse was the metal tube that was small enough to only fit a child, let alone an fully grown teen. At least it was over, four hours of torment, but even with the freezing temperatures that made some of my skin blue and purple, it will never compare to the pain of being a prisoner in this hell hole. The pain i felt when I was betrayed the day I was put into this research facility. And for what, so I could become the perfect human, warrior or whatever else they wanted with my body. 

Sometimes I feel like they're just doing this to me  for fun and when I'm just about to die, they bring me back from the dead just to do it all over again the next day. So they can laugh at me, for being weak or for not living up to their expectations. Some days  I feel like I may break , that I'll just pass out, hit the ground and never move a muscle in my body again. I would still be alive, well not alive but I'd be breathing. My body would just shut down and never work again. Some days I kinda wish that would happen, so they didn't have a reason to lock me up in here, than I remember that it that if that happens, I wouldn't get the chance to see the sky, the sun, the moon and the stars. So I'd keep living until I find a way out.

My so called 'bedroom' was about the size of a walk-in-closet, whatever that was. A  scientist said that to me one time, while laughing. I assumed that it meant this was an extremely tiny room. The room was clean before, I think. If I try to recall my past it was not nearly as gross as it was now. But that's to be expected when NO one around that  joint would touch the floor in there with their foot while wearing heavy leather boots. Although they wouldn't come in here I have to live in this place, and there wasn't even a bed in here, just an ancient blank that barely covered my body when I was eight and a single, dangling light that flickered  every now and then. 

But don't take my word for it, even will all this luxury the one thing I would've killed for wasn't a bed or a working light bulb, what I dreamed of was to see the outside world. When I use to be taught how to read and write, my 'teacher' would make me read books about historical events. So, after reading all the books they could get me,  I began to read fiction books because there was no other options for them. 

But I read all those too when I was twelve and that is why they stopped teaching me, they said something about how I was succeeding more than they expected and that I already reached higher than a professors level of knowledge. I'm kinda grateful they forced my brain to be super smart because if they didn't then I would never have finished all those boring books in time to have the privilege of reading novels that tells me so much about the outside world. So many things were out there and I'd be damed if I don't see it, see everything, trees, cars, ice cream and other people mybage. To see what my life could've been like.

I've already gotten use to the lonely silence of this metal death trap, but knowing they can hear, see and probably smell me, I could never have a relaxing feeling, I was always tense. And the fact that they know this freaked me out even more, just what were they?

The door to my humble little home, squeaked open and another man in a white lab coat, holding a stack of paper, looked at me with disgust before looking at his papers. I still can't believe they look at me like I'm some kind of monster, when they were the entire reason I was in this filthy state. Though I guess I would too if I was looking at a girl who looked like they just came out of the ground, but hey, I wouldn't know because I've never seen myself in the mirror. I only really know that I'm around 5'5 feet tall, I have long blond hair and my skin is white as a ghost.

I just wished I knew my eye colour, but with all the surgery they did on them, to improve my eye sight,  I'm guessing their not exactly a normal colour. I was still surprised I had average hair. The man, who was done reading probably stupid instructions on how my testing will go today, looked up and sighed. Oblivious, he wasn't interested in working with my beautiful self, but who could blame him, I mean it's only once in a life  time you get to see true beauty or in this case dirt. He waved at me, telling me to get up and follow him. So, I did but only after I gave him a best 'go screw yourself' smile, that charms any man. 

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