You can't save Everybody. [Bellamy Blake fan fiction]

Skybox.

WARNING: This is a really deep//possibly triggering chapter.

When Athena was younger, like many other kids, she was fascinated by Earth. But after she was locked up, her dreams of prancing through the grass faded. Isolation can do a lot to a person and if you asked her, Athena would say she didn't loose faith and she didn't give up hope that she would be pardoned. Even though, being locked up is pretty much a death sentence right away anyway.

But what really happens when you're by yourself 23 hours a day is quite frightening. It doesn't take long to become depressed and soon after that stage comes crazy. Luckily enough, or not- depending on how you look at it, that stages lasts for a while. Being on your own for that long, gives you a lot of time to think. They were going to kill her anyway so what was the point of locking her up? Torture? True punishment?

She thought about her death for hours on end, wondering what it would be like when her time finally came. She'd heard many horror stories about it but never really pictured what it would be like, getting sucked into the void of space. And so sometimes she would sit and cry, picturing her lifeless body floating through time, possibly being struck by a asteroid or two.

Not once did she ever even consider the thought of her dieing on Earth. And when she finally got there, she was sure it was going to be grounders that killed her, or exposure if anything. She never considered Murphy of all people to torture her to death.

She spent most of her time, however, thinking about what came after. She was sentenced to death, that was for sure. And they would kill her, another given. But what then? There were so many possibilities.

The Ark had many historical texts, some of which she studied in school. She new that there were once many people who believed in many different things, these were once called religion. She knew some believed in a heaven or hell and others believed in being re born into something new. She tried so hard to picture herself in heaven but didn't do a good job seeing as she didn't have that much to go on and when she tried picturing hell, all she had to do was keep her eyes open and look around.

She thought about being re born. Some texts say that this can happen in any living creature and she couldn't imagine anything on earth was still alive and the last tree on the ark was probably taken. Unless everyone grew their own leaf when they died. And at this point, the thought of being a baby again and starting over on the ark seemed just as bad as her idea of hell.

There was also the option that none of these were true. That death was like sleeping, except no dreams. You wouldn't think, you wouldn't do anything, you wouldn't be anything. You just wouldn't be. You would cease to exist. And Athena had no idea what that was like. This was the hardest concept to wrap her head around. She didn't know what it was like to not be and part of her was more scared of this than her hell theory.

And yet, there she was, lieing on the floor, ceasing to exist. How appropriate that the thing that brought her to her dream was the thing that was ripping her away from it as well.

Looks like everyone was right. Looks like it didn't work out after all...