The Hunger games - I'm still breathing (Everlark)

Chapter 34

"Miss Everdeen?"

I look up towards the greying woman exiting from the hotel doors. She has a navy dress on that hugs her body and glasses that rest on the tip of her nose. It's the receptionist who checked us in.

"Your friend Peeta Mellark has been looking for you, is everything okay?" she asks, eyeing my attire up and down.

I nod curtly, glue my eyes to the floor and walk quickly around her. It's rude but my current frame of mind doesn't feel like talking to anyone.

"Katniss!"

I tear my eyes away from the ground just in time to see Peeta fling himself into me. The impact knocks the air out of my chest, leaving me winded for a minute. He holds me close to him, burying my head in his neck. Being in his arms again makes the world slot back into place.

"Do you want me to get a doctor?" I hear the receptionist ask, quietly.

"No I think she'll be okay, thankyou," Peeta replies.

Her footsteps patter swiftly away and we are left alone.

"Where the hell were you?" he says suddenly, pushing me away from his warmth and safety, gripping tightly onto my shoulders. "I woke up and you were gone!"

"I went for a walk," I say meekly.

"You went for a walk? At 2am in the morning?" His eyes glare into mine, skeptically.

"Don't look at me like that," I say, shrugging myself out of his grasp.

"Like what?" he asks.

"Like I'm crazy! I had a nightmare, I couldn't get back to sleep so I went for a walk," I say harshly, brushing by him and heading back towards the hotel.

He grips my hand on the way and swings me back round to face him.

"You're lying to me, you won't even look me in the eye, Katniss," he states.

I pull my hand away from his and fold my arms across my chest. I lift my eyes and stare defiantly into his. I see a small flicker of a smile dash across his face before he remembers he's supposed to be angry with me.

"Well now I know you're lying," he says seriously.

"How?" I ask, matching his tone.

"Because your nose has grown."

And just like that the tension is broken. I fall into him once more, smothering my smile into his shirt.

"Where did you really go?" he whispers, running his hands up and down my back.

I let out a shaky breath.

"It was a really bad nightmare, there were voices and it was too much. I needed air and I was running and the cliffs were more inviting than the idea of having another night like this again."

He sighs into my hair and eases me away from him. He hooks his index finger under my chin and gently lifts it up towards him. He catches the tears that I didn't realise had begun to fall again.

"You were going to jump?" he asks sadly.

A whimper eludes itself from my mouth as I nod my head.

"You have to wake me when you have a nightmare like that, do you hear me? Whether I need my sleep or not, you have to wake me so that I can be there for you. You shouldn't ever have to feel that way and if you do then we can get you help, we can get you medication, we can..."

I cut him off with a kiss.

"I don't need medication," I say, as I pull away.

"It could help, Katniss," he says.

I've heard of the trazodone drug that's supposed to cure people of their depression. My mother had her own stack to help her get through each day. I also remember the side effects causing her to vomit on a regular basis. Giving her headaches that put her on bed rest for days at a time. How she would be with us but never really there. You become a slave to the drug and it becomes harder and harder to live without it. I don't want to turn into the morphlings from District six, that would be as bad as drinking alcohol.

"No, it wouldn't help. I need you okay? That's all," I say.

Peeta's quiet for a minute and we stand listening to the calming sound of the waves in the distance.

"What stopped you?" he finally asks.

"Annie Cresta."

He looks perplexed by my answer.

"She said that you needed me," I explain.

"I do need you," he says plainly, tracing the edges of my cheeks.

"I couldn't leave you behind," I mumble.

"You have no idea how glad I am that you didn't," he smiles, a tear escaping from his eye. I lightly wipe it away.

"I think I love you too much," I say, frowning.

"You think?" Peeta laughs.

"Yeah, I never thought I'd love anyone full stop, never mind loving someone like this. I think I have a problem," I say, dramatically lifting my hand to my head.

Peeta laughs again.

"You and me both."

I smile, loving how easy conversations with Peeta can be.

"Promise me you'll wake me next time you feel like that?" he says becoming serious again.

"I promise."