Eight

Late .

The next day when I get off of work I feel terrible because when I awoke I was truly hoping it was all a dream and I would wake to my love it's his arm draped on my waist, staring at me and smiling. Eyes twinkling with pure admiration as he stared straight at me, me looking back at him with that same admiration and adoration.

But I awoke to a, suddenly, large, cold, empty bed. The whole day I kept throwing up. Not even feeling sick though, it'd usually be after I would eat, even if it was small. I visit him after work nevertheless. When I arrive there I had just ate, knowing how it would turn out.

I run feeling like all of what I had just eaten is about to come up. I rush to the nearest bathrooms. Yeah right, I don't know this hospital, so I end up puking in a bush. A couple nurses come up and hold my hair back. Once I'm done I wipe my mouth and the nurses usher me to a small room with light blue curtains, insisting they check up on me. I sigh heavily feeling a pit of guilt in my stomach.

Either that or I'm gonna puke again.

After awhile a nurse comes up and asks me, "When did you start feeling sick?"

"I didn't..I kind of just started throwing up."

"When did this start?"

"Yesterday."

"When was the last time you've had your period?"

I take a deep breath ready to announce that it was last month, but I stop and my eyes widen. "I must have been so busy with work and stressing over that..i-it must have slipped my mind that..I..I haven't had it in about two months.." I whisper.

"I'll run a few tests just to be sure, until then just wait here."

I nod feeling numb. This is all too much for me.

When she comes back she explains briefly that she's going to need a sample of my blood for a blood test because she'll have the results more accurate and quicker than a urine test.
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I guess you'll be getting  your family you always wanted then.

After all of that I go over to your room and sit next to you. I hold your hand and flinch shutting my eyes tightly at how cold they are. I hold it tightly trying to stop my hands from shaking as much as they are.

I take a deep shaky breath in and begin,"I remember the first time we actually talked...."

-flashback-

I was sitting in class drawing and then this guy comes up. The one I ran into a couple days ago.

"Bonne nuit."

I snort at him, "It's morning you twat, but the effort was cute."

He looks at me offended, "Rude! I said good morning."

I raised an eyebrow at him finally looking him in the eyes, "Are you informing me of my first language? The language I know best? Because I've been raised in France my whole life and bonne nuit means good night not good morning, school someone in a language you actually know next time why don't you." I spat before getting up and walking away.

As I was doing so I heard a silent laugh, "Feisty."

And I walked away grinning widely.
-flashback over-

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt a certain wetness on my jeans. I wipe my cheeks and then place my hand on my stomach. I now carry a human being in my stomach. Perhaps two, Doctor said I could be having twins. Maybe even triplets.

I thought of raising them alone, no matter how much I'd like to think happy thoughts and believe that you will wake up and we'll be fine, I can't ignore the fact that you might be leaving me soon.

Because now I'm not only thinking about myself. Now I am thinking for my future child/children.

I clasp both hands around your hand squeezing tightly, "Now would be a great time for you to wake up.." I whisper, my voice cracking.

I don't even get a hand twitch in response and I heave a dry sob.

"Please wake up.." I try to warm your cold hands to at least make myself feel some warmth. I still fell none.

"Please!!"

It all hurts..I might be loosing you.

"Please just..I can't do it on my own..I need you." I whisper defeated.

I shake my head and get up, I press a lingering kiss to your forehead; and I walk away.

Please don't leave me. I don't know what to do without you anymore.