The Letter

I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. "Ten, nine, eight, seven...".

I knew I was being coward but I just couldn't stand against him. He had abused me for years for no reason that I could think of. He had scarred me for my whole life and I couldn't help it because I had lost all hope of living a happy life. He had ruined my whole life. He just snatched everything from me which I ever had adored. My Friends, my family, my career, my life and even the light I used to see in the worst conditions before I met him.

I had always thought of the day I met him on the first day of college was the luckiest day of my life until the day he beat me for the first time when we came back after a party of his friend. I was just busy with my old friend who I had met after a very long time in the party and he thought I was ignoring his friend and was just insulting him in front them but it was never my intentions. It was a mere excuse for him to beat me. But I.... I was shattered to my soul. I loved him from the depth of my heart but for him I guessed I was just a body which he could claim to use whenever and wherever.

It had passed 2 years from that day but I couldn't utter a word in front of anybody. I knew he was possessive when I started dating him but there was a difference between possessiveness and obsession. Soon after a year of dating him he proposed me to live with him. I agreed in a breath because he was the love of my life but I didn't know I was digging my own grave. It was happening like it was my own wish to run to my doom.

I couldn't see the monster behind his perfect face for a year after I moved in with him. He had hidden his true colors from the whole world like it was a very easy task and had painted himself with a color of purity, white like he was some kind of fallen angel in this world. He had always been good to me and my friends but he got jealous whenever I talked to another guy or gave them some attention. I thought it was cute in the beginning as he was being protected of me but I didn't know then that by thinking this I was just giving him the knife to stab it at my back. I was a blind 20-year old girl then.

I was now all alone. After completing my degree I got a job in the other city away from my family. They had always supported me everywhere even in my relationship with him when I told them I was going to live with him in the same apartment in the same city after he threatened me of harming my family if I didn't go with him. They had always given me a freedom which I wanted in my life but the odds were not in my favor. My fate had other plans. I guessed my luck fled away the day I met him. I had always seen positive in my life. I hoped he was going to change when I would love him with all I had got but the love had blinded me. It made me see things which had never existed. A false hope, a wishful thinking which was never going to be fulfilled.

But I had reached my limit. The old 20-year old young girl was gone and replaced by new but scarred 22-year old woman who didn't want to suffer this anymore, who wanted to fly freely in the perfect blue sky, who wanted to only live for herself, who wanted to have confidence and wanted to dream of rainbows and happy endings like a small little girl.

As I was watching him going out of the restaurant holding my breath, I thought of the way I was going to be free from this cage of him in which he had bound me for years. I counted until one under my breath and started taking long breaths. I was reminding myself again and again that I had to do this. I had to this for the sake of myself, for my family. I couldn't live like this anymore. As he promised me, I knew he would be at the apartment till 9'o clock. I had to do everything before he arrived at apartment.

I bought all the important things I needed for this and entered our apartment. I bought a small pin point camera which could record highly defined audio and video. I knew if I wanted to be free from him I just couldn't run away from him. He would find me again. I couldn't live in this fear anymore. So I needed proofs against him to send him away from me forever. I set the camera in our room or I could say my grave where he could do anything to me and no one could hear me there. He had beaten me there countless time. I knew I was living in hell and I had accepted it but now I wanted myself back so for that I had to do this.