Patient With Osaama[[ON HOLD FOR NOW!!]]

Chapter 6

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1 week later

today i have an appointment with my doctor. I have to find out why Ive been ill lately. Ive loss a bit a weight, which makes Osaama worried. He thinks i have cancer. i think he's dramatic.

I put on my black abaya that have purple decoy up the sleeve. I then wrap my all black scarf and pin it tightly on my big head. I double check my bag to make sure i have my phone and keys, before i leave out.

Surprisingly, Osaama is letting me go alone. I'm so relived he's loosening up and go back to the old Osaama. Except, a much more friendly happy person. I don't understand his change, but Alhamduilah, i'm grateful for it.

I walk to the bus stop and get on when the bus arrives. My appointment is downtown, which is nearly an hour away, but it's not too bad. i like the long ride, helps me reflect better. On the ride there, i read Quran and talk to my mum on the phone. She tells me how old she's getting and how horrible it is that my brother doesn't ever see his older sister. She wants me to visit her. i actually don't mind going to visit her for holiday, but  Osaama...well, i don't know.

My mother and step father moved to Egypt after i married. They decided to focus on themselves and have some fun. 3 months later, my mom was calling me, telling me that she was expecting a baby. Now, i have a 2 year old brother name Omar. He's already spoiled rotten, but i suppose that'ts okay since he is the baby they've wanted for ages. I wish i had a sibling growing up. It was a bit rough being alone. Both my parents worked and i was often left behind with my grandparents. My family is small. I have 4 aunts and uncles and 12 cousins. I only met 4 of my cousins, so i didn't have family to hang with much either.

When i was 5, my dad past away from lung cancer. He shoul of stopped smoking..oh well, that's done with. My mom remarried when i was 10. She got pregnant plenty, but they all failed. She kept having miscarriages. I remember when my stepfater blamed her for the continous miscarriages...boy, was that rough to hear. My mom was so hurt, because she wanted a baby too.

When i turned 13, i went to an all girls Islamic boarding school. It was fun, but it was mostly depressing, When i was 16, i returned, a full grown woman, as my mum put it. She barely payed much attention when i came back. I was starved of attention being in a such strict school. When i came home, i let loose and started drinking and partying. I snuck to random guys houses. I know, that's crazy, but i was in my own head. I didn't get caught for a whole year- but when i did, i was in some serious trouble.

My mother kicked me out and i took the bus south to my Grandma's house. But, she got sick fo me after 2 weeks and threw me out. I was causing some serious trouble, but i still was in my own head. For a month i was homeless. I was gonna give up, because i ran out of money and faith. But something happened. I had a dream. Allah saved me by sending me a dream, telling me to pray an dill be guided. And i did that. I became one the patient ones. Which, was a very a big turn around for me.

I snap out of my thoughts when i realize that we were at my stop. I gather my things and get off the bus and make my way down the street. the weather was super comfy. It was slightly chilly. The perfect Autumn weather.

After walking about two blocks, i arrived at the office. I go into the small building,walking straight into the main room. The room was crowded and hot. Once i hit the middle of the room, the sweaty aroma hit my face so strongly, i nearly passed out.

I quickly make my way to the desk and sign in. I take a sit a fill out a crap load of papers. After 20 or so minutes, a nurse calls my name and takes me to the back. I'm brought into a small room, it's all whit and nearly empty. There's a bin, a bed, a scales, and a cabinet. The nurse, who's name appears to be Angie, hands me a gown and tells me to undress. When she leaves out, i do just that.

After five or so minutes, the brown head, big eyed nurse was back in the room. "How are you doing today? i hear i'm testing you for a baby." She says with a smile. Testing? What is this, an experiment? I give her an half-ass smile and nod.

"And a general physical." I say. she nods, "Okay, go pee in this cup, will yah? Well take your urine sample to see if you're pregnant." I nod and go pee for her. After she check my vitals and my physically well being, she looks over at her paperwork . She's wearing a smile as big as a mountain. I stare suspiciously at her.

"The results are back, yeah?" I say, once I'm fully dress and in front of her. Her smile grows even wider. gee, i never knew it was possible to smile so much.

"Um, yes! What's your goal in life?" I observe her carefully, trying to see wheres she getting at.

"Um..i guess just to be happy and have a wonderful job and maybe some kids.." She grins.

"What if some of your goals were happening right now...what would you say?" Ugh, please...i cant be carrying a fetus.

"Um..i..um..Alhamduillah..God is great..i can only be happy.." She smiles.

"You're having a baby! She squeals,almost too excited.

"Oh." Is all i manage out. Her smile fades as she sees my face go pale.

"Oh, you're not quite ready? Well dont fret, God gives you what you can handle. Just have patience." I nod at her words of wisdom. Apparently im suppose to have all the patience in the world. All i'm worried is about is Osaama. He is not going to like this. He's going to be so angry. I sigh and take her prescription and leave out the room.

2 hours later.

Osaama and I are sitting at our dining room table, eating super quietly. he seems to be lost in thought. Perhaps he's setting his affairs straight in his head. I try not to stare at him too much but i was worried about my own affairs. Should i just run away?

We can't bring a baby in our house. We have a bunch of our own problems. He doesn't trust me. i cant fully trust him. He hates me sooo  much when i do the slightest thing wrong. What kind of an example would that be for a newborn? A horrible one.

"Osaama. I'm carrying your child." I'd say. He would yell back how i've done something wrong and he'd be raging with anger. He would accuse it to be some other man he's never seen before. or Ahmad's. I would swear up and down, saying "Wallahi, it's yours. I'm a faithful woman..i wouldn't. I couldn't." He would call me nasty things and i'd cry like a baby.

"Jameelah..are you okay? You're staring off to another galaxy." Osaama asks, breaking my train of thoughts. I nod solemnly and he smiles.

"Good, lets go cuddle and chat, yeah??" I have no choice but to smile at that and nod.

"Okay, but after Isha?" He smiles and stands up with his dishes. Oh..it's going to be a long night.