Gunji tsūru (Military Tool)

Chapter Six

Jaeger roars and rears back as far as he can, trying to get his feet beneath him. His head swings back and forth, a constant stream of grunts and huffs falling from his mouth as he twists in his bindings, straining against them. Behind her, the rest of the hundred and fourth trainees flinch away, despite several of them having witnessed Jaeger saving their lives, despite being so comfortable in his presence earlier. Mikasa grits her teeth and throws herself forwards.

Armin is a half-step behind her, but he could never run as fast as she could, his mind always moved so much quicker than the rest of him, but Mikasa doesn't give herself time to think. In this situation, stopping to rationalise is probably the worst thing that she can do. If she stops to think about all of the ways that this is an incredibly bad idea with a real possibility of ending with bloodshed then she might never be able to start again. Jaeger won't hurt her. He's had his chances, he's had plenty of them, but he has shown her again and again a kindness that she has found lacking in a great many humans through her life.

He saved her life twice directly; in retaking Trost, he saved her and she doesn't care to count how many others. But if this keeps up, no matter what he has done, nothing she or Armin can say will be enough to help him.

She owes him her life. She made him a promise. If there is anything that she learnt from the time before, when her life was simple and sweet and happy, it is that she should always keep her promises. This is not a promise that she has ever said aloud – in fact, it is likely that even if she did, it would mean nothing to Jaeger. To her, though, that doesn't mean that it is any less binding. In a way it is even more so; the promise is hers and hers alone. She is the only one that will know if she fails, and she is the only one that can make sure that doesn't happen.

With Jaeger still thrashing, she and Armin can only get so close. She spreads her hands wide and skids to a halt, Armin arriving a split second later, standing by her side with his palms also spread and facing upwards. She doesn't know how much Jaeger understands about human weaponry, but she needs him to understand that she isn't here to hurt him.

This reaction of his could be any number of things. It could be a mere coincidence.

In fifteen short (long, so long, dragging out before her endlessly) years, Mikasa has come to realise a great many things about herself, and one of those things is that she absolutely does not believe in coincidences.

"He's not here," she calls up to him, and that familiar, inhuman face swings around to focus on her, green eyes bright beneath locks of matted hair, because no matter how hard she and Armin had tried, there was just too much of it for the two of them to properly wash. She waits, watches for the flash of recognition in his eyes before she steps closer, Armin moving in step with her, watching and waiting for the same cues.

"He's not here," Armin repeats, and Jaeger turns to face him, still breathing heavily, brow furrowed now in confusion. Mikasa doesn't know how much he understands of what they are saying, but she knows that there has to be a way to make him see this. Maybe they should step back and away for now, let the senior members of the Scouting Legion handle this for now – Jaeger had seemed accepting enough of them before, and she is confident now that no matter how distressed he may become, there is no chance of him hurting them. This was the creature that had seen a scared, hurt child in the woods and had chosen to kill her attackers, not eat them, who had left her with a scarf, a scar on her hands where she had picked up wrong end of the knife in her desperation, and memories that she couldn't sort into logical patterns. There was no way a titan could be inside Wall Maria. No way that a titan would protect a child like this. No way a titan would meet her gaze and then turn to leave before she had a chance to run.

But Jaeger had done all of that and more. So no, he will not harm the members of the Scouting Legion, of that she is sure.

That does not mean that she will just leave him to them, though.

"We know who it is that you're looking for," Armin says, his voice so soft that even she can barely hear it. Jaeger's head tilts the slightest fraction, as though he is listening. Armin smiles, and it shakes on his face. "We know why you reacted to the name like that, but Dr. Jaeger isn't here."

It's a calculated risk saying his name like that, she knows. But this is Armin, and there is no-one she would trust more to make calculated risks involving her life. Jaeger shifts a little at the mention of his name, but other than that he remains calm. Mikasa takes a deep breath, stepping up to Jaeger – he rears back a little, though it can't possibly comfortable for him. The only thing she can think is that he's trying to keep some measure of distance between them; something that is near impossible for him to decide when he strapped down in place. So she waits, shuffles back a half-pace and watches his reaction carefully.

He bows his head, eyes hidden from them.

"We're sorry," she says quietly. "We don't know where he is. We haven't seen him either. We can't help you the way you want us to.

"We know that you miss him," she continues slowly, sounding it out as she goes and not questioning how she knows that she is right. "And more than that, you miss her, don't you?" One hand creeps up to her throat, to touch the scarf that has stayed there for six years now. "She told me, after Dr. Jaeger brought me back with him, that she made this for you, to make up for screaming the first time you met. She didn't think you really cared, but you wore it from that day until the day we met, and then you gave it to me. The first gift you received from the first person to treat you like a human, and you gave it to me.

"And you wouldn't take it back," she continues, her voice wobbling almost imperceptibly. She swallows and tries again. "Even though I could see how much you wanted it back, you wouldn't keep it. I didn't know if you remembered that day, but then you gave it back to me, and I knew that all of this time, you remembered..."

"You saved our lives," Armin takes over gently. "I'm sorry that we don't know anything. I'm sorry that Dr. Jaeger isn't here. But we are, and we'll help you find him, if you'll let us."

He turns to face Mikasa, and she watches him silently for a moment, giving him time to gather himself and explain. He still isn't used to this, used to having people rely on him for answers that could mean the difference between life and death. However well he has done, and continues to do in such tense situations, she doubts that he will ever truly be used to this. She lets him take a deep breath, pull his thoughts into coherency and tell her his plan.

"Dr. Jaeger always told you that you could find answers in his basement, didn't he? About the titans, I mean," he says slowly. She nods once; she doubts that Armin needs the confirmation. "I don't know how he would have gathered knowledge of the titans without the help of, uh, Jaeger, so I think it's a pretty safe bet that whatever we find down there will have to do with him, right?"

She nods again.

"So we need to get Jaeger to Shinganshina," he says almost to himself, as though it makes perfect sense. And perhaps it does.

"We lost two hundred taking back Trost," she reminds him, though not unkindly. She understands that this is most probably the best solution to figuring out Jaeger, but she has to be pragmatic. Armin is still caught up in his idea, and she doesn't know whether this has yet occurred to him or not.

"We don't need to recapture it," he corrects her hastily, shaking his head. Jaeger watches them both with something that looks a little like mild interest. Maybe it is their emphatic tones, or the fact that this entire conversation has been spoken using only whispers, but hut he seems far more intrigues than she has ever seen him before. Or perhaps it is the simple fact that in this conversation alone they must have used more words that he might recognise than in any of the conversations had with him in hearing distance since he was detained a week ago. "We just need to get there with Jaeger."

Mikasa doesn't know what to do. She knows how risky it would be, braving the world outside of the Wall again for so flimsy and uncertain a goal, even with Jaeger in tow. She knows that in doing so, they would be putting everyone that sought to join them on the mission in danger. She knows that there are no guarantees even if they can make it there alive. But she also knows Armin, knows how he thinks, how he plans for every eventuality. She knows her friend and she knows her own instincts, and she trusts them both. She takes a deep breath and she nods.