Words of Renewal

A Second Chance

I... Suppose I should begin by introducing myself. My name is Pamela. I don't remember much of what happened that fateful night a week ago, but I remember enough. I remember the tears in my eyes as I opened my mother's drawer. I remember my shaking hands as I wrote a letter goodbye. I remember the water against my throat as it carried the pills that did anything but cure into my stomach to kill myself. I remember being at peace for a few moments, convinced that what I was doing was right, before the magnitude of what I was doing overcame my mind and all at once, I wanted to take it back. I did not die happy or content, I died alone and afraid. I died in regret.

What I don't remember is my brother rushing into the room and screaming frantically, getting my family to rush me to the nearest hospital. I don't remember my stomach being pumped, or the tears down the faces of my friends and family as they watched me slowly return to the living world. But I remember that it wasn't a mistake to bring me back. For once in my life the demons I saw happened to be very real, making what I saw in my dreams look like child's play. They whispered to me, beckoning me closer into there icy grip. I was given a second chance. I didn't deserve one, nobody really does until it's given to them. I was saved not because I have a purpose in this world, or because I was wasting my life. I was saved because people cared for me. There are demons in this world, more of them then you would think, but there are also caring, kindhearted individuals ready to lead the charge against them.

This world is tainted by many awful beings. Sadness, Anger, the soul biting sensation of being Alone... But I've learned something important. They can be beaten, they aren't forever, and they wont always torment you. I lost my way once, and I won't ever lose it again. I've been granted a second chance by those around me, people that love me, share laughs with me, and make me genuinely happy. I have to stay strong for them, otherwise I wont be able to face myself. My name is Pamela, and I will survive.