"There are memories that time does not erase... Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable.
― Cassandra Clare, City of Heavenly Fire
I know he can't sleep, too. I can tell from his short huffs he is still wide-awake. Maybe staring at the dimmed ceiling, just like what I'm doing.
"Francis." I nudged and adjusted myself. I tried to draw close to him, both our elbows touching. It is kinda awkward.
No. It is really awkward. Our skins rubbing with each other. Everything spells red flag to me. I don't know this man. They only tell me I'm his wife but I feel very foreign. I almost felt certain everybody was just fibbing me about the details of my life. All the while there's still this small part of me that tells me I'm another person being schemed to take a certain Freya's life.
"Mm?" Francis softly answered. He has always been this soft with me. Just me. I know and I have observed he's aggressive with things, and other people... Almost quite the opposite of his feign gentleness with me. Yes I am assuming his being tender towards him is only because of my condition. Because I can sense he's the hotheaded guy next door. That's what he really is - an argumentative, know-it-all ass that everybody hates.
He sometimes even shouts at the maids when they do something ridiculous. I think his friends; Alvin and Spencer, are only his friends because they've known each other since they were kids. It's like they have no choice but to accept him because they're real, long-time buddies.
"Frey?" Francis whispered when I didn't budge after asking. Maybe it is really so silly of me that I stayed quiet like I am not the one who opened up the conversation.
But, I wanted him to be impatient with me, too. Because in reality, he would've scowled if it wasn't me. I've lots of questions brewing in my mind. Is this how he really treats me even before the accident?
"There's still nothing..." I'm pertaining to my memories.
"Don't worry..." He tried to hold my hand. I was startled a bit that he even apologized.
Is this really how he behaves towards me? I almost believed my own little theory that I'm just somebody they've fished out of water to pretend to be Freya, until saw our wedding pictures at the living room. Everything they've fed on me was backed up with either a picture or some videos that I really belonged in this life.
That I'm really Francis' wife."
"W-what if... you know... we try to act as a married couple, maybe it'll help?" I gripped on his hand. I try not to sound as if I'm afraid though I really am scared. My psychiatrist tells me to initiate, or even send clues we should make love and be the husband and wife that we need to be.
I know Francis isn't obliging me to play the wife part just yet. He's being cool with everything. Me staying at the guest room to be able to adjust. He hasn't even kissed me like a proper wife. He hasn't held me yet. And I agree with my Dr. Lowe, if we do the same things that we're probably doing before the accident, maybe it'll help with my memory. Maybe some things will spell familiar and it'll aid me get back to what I was before.
"I don't know Freya. I don't know if you're ready..." I felt Francis inching away from me. "You still can't remember me and do you think it's a good idea to do this? I'm still a stranger to you."
"Please..." I held his hand and pulled it towards my chest. "There's nothing wrong, right?" I felt his warm palms pressed over my breast.
Good thing the lights are off or he can see me in beet-red. I don't know how to seduce someone. It even is more awkward that I am now seducing my own husband. I don't even have any memory of any sexual encounters and I'm not sure if what I'm really doing is right.
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Anamnesis (Mature)
Romance*Mature Content* Freya Lazarte's second life would seem cozy enough. She's back in the mansion with more than enough housekeepers to keep her company, she continues her illustrious lifestyle and treasures her loving family. Plus, she has the attract...
