Chapter 1 - Dreams

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He lay in his cell . Well it was really his room , but it felt like a prison . The doors were locked , the windows were barred , the room was stuffy and small . He was in bed , his blanket wrapped around him . He felt trapped in this place . Caged . That was probably because he was . He couldn't leave if he tried . He wasn't allowed . No one was allowed . No one but the doctors and the nurses were allowed out of this damned place . Even they couldn't leave for too long . It was all because of her . That devil . She plagued him constantly . She never left . No one but him could see her , but she was real . He was certain of it . She said she would never leave him , not after what he had done . He had apologised , he had begged , he had wept and screamed and lashed out . Nothing worked . Now even those things were taken away from him . He couldn't break anything or scream or cry in peace . They would come , in give him medicine or sedatives and then leave to go back to their own indulgent lives . He closed his eyes , turned onto his side and tried to fall asleep . Then he remembered . He wondered how he could ever have forgotten . Creak , creak . His eyes shot open , his heart pounding out of his chest . He knew what was happening . He dreaded it . He turned to face the door , making as little noise as possible . His breathing quickened as he saw her . He closed his eyes then opened them again . She , or it was gone , leaving no trace .

He relaxed after a while , and though he didn't want to , fatigue overcame him and he fell into a slumber . He slept without disturbance , but not for long . She had gotten into his dreams . There was no escape from her , none at all . Not while he was alive anyway , and there was know way of knowing whether she would leave once he had died .

Creak . Creak . Creak . He saw her there sitting on the swings , rocking to and fro slowly . Her pale hands were wrapped around the rusty old chains of the swing. Her hair was ebony , but her skin was deathly pale . Her eyes were black and sunken , her nose small and straight . Her lips were blood red and chapped as they always seemed to be and her small , sharp teeth lurked beneath . Her dirty , long white dress contrasting with her hair and lips gave her an ethereal look . She crossed her legs , and began to sing on of her songs , a distant look on her face as the sweet sounding notes fell from her lips . She sang a song of sadness , her voice laced with regret and woe , her expression distant and detached . He watched her , transfixed and terrified at the same time , because he knew things were only going to get worse . He was right . She suddenly stopped her swinging and singing . Silence hung thick in the air . He didn't dare break it . She stared at him . Examined his every more . She reached behind her to grab the knife that was hidden beneath the stained  fabric of her sleeve . Pointing at him , she mumbled a few inaudible words and then stared vacantly behind him . She didn't look at him anymore . Huge watched her before his curiosity  overcame him  . He turned around to see what she was gazing at and to his horror , he saw a rope necklace intended for him . She meant to hang him . To kill him . In his dreams at least . Who knew how this would affect him when he woke ? Maybe if he died here , he would simply never wake again . He slowly turned back around to face her . His face went pale . The knife was pointing at him and in a quiet , raspy voice she uttered one word . "Die" echoed through his mind though she had said it but once . Her voice had changed . It was no longer that of a singing angel and was now closer to a snakes hiss.

A black feather materialised out of what seemed like thin air . It drifted slowly down onto her lap . She resumed slowly swinging , then picked up the small, delicate black feather and stabbed her knife through it . A slow trickle of blood emerged from the feather and stained her dress . It continued to trickle onto the floor then towards him , gradually gaining speed and as it seemed to him , volume . He took a shaky step back , and stumbled . Falling to the ground his tried to scream but no sound escaped his lips . He landed with a thud , just as the first drop of crimson blood stained the tip of his sneakers .

He woke with a jolt . He looked around him , relieved to be back in his own hospital room away from that demon . He exhaled and got out of bed , no longer in the mood to rest . Too terrified of what would happen if he drifted off . He flicked the light switch , and examined himself in the small mirror that hung on the wall . His dark brown hair was tousled , and he was sweating . He stared at his reflection , his bright green eyes searching for the person he once used to be . He saw nothing but the pale , tired creature he had become . The room was empty apart from the mirror ,  the bed and a small bedside table that contained his memories of the outside world . He went over to the bedside table and opened the top drawer . He carefully took out a small , black box and gently prised it open . He stared at the contents of the box as tears formed in his eyes , and as the first salty tear landed in the box , staining the corner of a photograph , a black feather materialised . He hadn't noticed yet , but it was drifting towards him slowly . It landed in the box , on top of the photograph in the exact spot where the tear had fallen .

He gasped , dropping the box . He picked up the feather , twirling it between his fingers . She's here . She's real . He had the evidence he needed to prove it . He closes his eyes , imagining how it will be when he proves to them that Tristan Williams is not crazy . He would be allowed outside of this dim , crumbling building and its grounds . He wouldn't have to be confined . He could walk on the streets and go into shops and even sleep in a room with a window . He could get a job . He could be considered sane . He could be the person he once was . The happy man with a dream job and a loving family . He could finally marry Olivia . He could have everything . He opened his eyes , determined to keep the feather safe . Only it wasn't there . It wasn't there . It was in his hands just a minute ago ! He could have sworn it . Tristan  sighed and tried to calm down even though fury and disappointment coursed through him . He paced his small room staring at the dirty wooden tiles beneath him . He tried breathing deeply , he tried sitting down , he tried lying down . Nothing worked . Nothing at all . The frustration was still bottled up inside him and he couldn't hold it in for much longer . He got up , marched over to the wall , and stared at it for a second before punched the grubby white wall repeatedly as hard as he could , until his knuckles were covered in cuts and his own blood stained the wall . 

Whether it was still the middle of the night , he didn't know . He had no sense of time in this place . Days and weeks melted into one . Night and day . Hour and hour . It was pointless counting time . He wasn't ever leaving anyway , and the only way morning could be identified was that the bedroom doors would be unlocked at nine every morning and a bell would sound . Then they would all trudge to the bathrooms and the dining hall for breakfast , each person avoiding everyone else . Silence would echo the halls except for occasional forced small talk . That hadn't happened yet .  He had a little more time to himself . The trouble was , the more time he had to himself , the crazier he would become. The only thing he looked forward to each day , was the hour in the garden . Though he was accompanied by a doctor , it was the only part of the day when he felt free . When he was able to breathe in fresh air and be a part of the outside world .

He had probably imagined the feather . He tried to convince himself that it was never real , but that was a feat Tristan couldn't quite manage . He could still feel it between his fingers and see it on the photograph . He could see himself being out of this place . With Olivia . Free . He didn't know how long he had been daydreaming about freedom and Olivia when he heard it . Bang . Bang . Bang . The bell was sounding . It was not unlike bullets being shot repeatedly . Tristan personally thought it was unfit for a monument full of people who were "mentally disturbed" . Bang . Bang . Tristan took a deep breath . Time to start another dull lifeless day , in this dull , lifeless monument .

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