Just Another Cadet... (LevixReader)

Chapter Six ~Drink~

It was the day of the big mission. All of us were geared up for what ever would be coming our way.
As we moved towards the gates Petra rode close up to me.
"(Y/N)!" She cried.
I looked over at her, "What?"
"I'm sorry." She said with a weak smile.
I gave her a big one, knowing that she really meant it and didn't want to go into this mission with out saying anything, "It's okay, I get it." I reinsured her.
We rode on. As we went into the Long-Distance Scouting Formation Petra and I separated.

--Time Jump--

The sounds of explosions came from the inside of the trees. Puzzled I just stared into the thick of the woods.
How much longer do we have to sit here?
I looked around at all the other scouts. We'd all seem to be thing the same thing.
Then suddenly I started seeing flashes of Petra and I training, laughing, and staying up all night. I put my hand to my mouth and looked down at all the titans below me, Why am I thinking of this now...

It felt like forever, before suddenly a rower came from the forest.
That doesn't sound good...
"Look, the titans!" A cadet cried pointing down at the swarm of them running into the forest. I jumped up and swung after the titans with my 3DM gear.
Then I saw it, the blue smoke.
Time to retreat? I looked around at all the other scouts around me, they all looked relieved.
I guess the waits over then, I hope everyones okay...

Waiting with the rest of the scouts I started to get worried, Where's squad Levi, and cadet Mikasa?
"They'll be fine (Y/N)," Hanji's voice startled me as she put her hand on my shoulder, "Levi's just gone to get his squad and Mikasa's just a worry wort and followed after Eren." She tried to insure me. It worked for a second until I saw only three people coming out of the woods.
I ran towards them, Please... Petra, Oruo...
"Sir, wheres the rest of your squad?" I asked half yelling at Levi who didn't bother looking up from the ground.
"Sir, where are my friends?" I tried again. This time Levi got off his house and walked slowly past you towards Erwin.
"How many?" Erwin asked putting an arm around Levi.
"More then there should have been." Levi hissed as he looked back towards the woods.

It wasn't long after that most of the bodies were recovered. I watched as they lined my friends up in front of me.
I should have been there, I thought to myself as I started to feel chocked up, I could have helped them...
I put a hand to my mouth and collapsed to the ground, fighting back tears with everything I had.
Hanji lifted me up and held me in a hard bear hug, not saying anything. I was stunned for a second, I didn't move, then as I eased into her hug I gave into my feelings and cried.
"It's okay, (Y/N)." Hanji said as she watched Levi cut a patch off of one of the bodies, "I know you guys were close."
"We trained together, we became scouts together..." I cried into Hanjis shoulder, "and Oruo..."
"That's enough." Levi's voice barked.
I pulled away from Hanji and saw his cold eyes staring me down, "Quit your crying and move forward cadet," he continued as he walked towards two scouts freaking out, "it's not going to bring them back."
I just took a deep breath then helped put the bodies on the carts, He's right, I can cry later.

After a while of riding with out interruption titans started closing in, thanks to a couple of idiot cadets.
I continued riding, I'm not going to die here!
You rode ahead of the cart and looked back to see some of the other scouts dumping some of the bodies. As they did one of the bodies jumped as she fell, revealing who she was. Getting chocked up again now by the sight of my friends body falling behind I turned my gaze forward and ignored the guilt growing in my stomach.

Once back inside the walls I saw Petra's father walking towards Levi and smiling up at me with a waving like he always did. I couldn't make myself to smile back, it hurt to much.

When we made it to HQ I walked into my room and quickly changed out of my uniform then put on my pajamas on. It was late and I just wanted to go to sleep. I closed my eyes and started to drift asleep.
I must have been asleep for an hour or so before a loud thud came from my bedroom door. Groaning I got up and opened it. Then with out warning, Levi grabbed me by my collar and started dragging me towards his office.
"Sir?" I tried to pull away from him, "Levi, why are doing this?" He didn't respond. When we both were at his office Levi opened his door and threw me inside.
"Ow!" I groaned as I started picking myself up.
"Sit down." Levi ordered gesturing to the empty seat in front of his desk.
With a nod I got up and followed his orders, sitting down at the desk.
"Sir," I looked down at the paperwork on his desk, "Can I just go back to bed, I really just want to be alone right now." I said starting to feel a wave of tears coming over me.
Clink.
I looked up to see two large glasses, and Levi filling each of them with what looked like scotch. Without a word he handed me one and began drinking his, finishing it in seconds then slamming it on his desk before filling it again.
"Drink," Levi said pushing my glass closer towards me, "it helps."
"Sir I-"
"I said drink cadet (L\N)." He said in a more demanding tone.
I hesitated for a second then picked up the glass and started slowly chugging the alcohol.