Two Rungs Below

01 • The Skunk Theory

Fall had always been my favorite month. The summer was always too hot, the winter too cold, spring too rainy, but fall was always just right. Not only that, but it was an acceptable excuse to wear sweatshirts. I was actually wearing a sweatshirt as I went about my morning jog.

Cross Country would begin soon, so I was attempting to get back into shape. I had spent my whole summer binge watching Netflix and eating pizza so it could take awhile before I am back to optimal condition. 

My diet of pizza during the summer did not affect my run though thanks to my iron-clad metabolism. I could probably buy out all of the fast food restaurants in Keystone city and hardly gain a pound. Thankfully my jogging route did not pass by any fast food restaurants, or I may have felt compelled to do so.

Actually, my route really did not pass much of anything. In fact, it was quite simple. I would run through my neighborhood, up to the nature trail, which would then take me to a path around a lake. The path around the lake would then lead to the other end of my neighborhood which would pass by none other than Lila Keen's house.

And I mean, the Lila Kean. 

Lila was the smartest, most beautiful girl at Keystone High. When I say beautiful I mean really beautiful. Not the plastic Regina George kind of beautiful, but the real kind. She had fair skin with long brown hair and deep brown eyes. But beyond her looks she was wicked smart. Smart as in, top ten SAT scores smart. Sadly I was the unlucky fellow who had fallen for her.

Lila was fairly high up on the social food chain. I however was extremely low, but still not quite at the bottom. Regardless, if I did ask her out it probably would not go to well . . .

Occasionally I would pick up flowers a day in advance and leave them on her porch when I passed by it on my morning jogs, maybe even stick a note with them. One time I left her a note with the inequality "9x-7i>3(3x-7u)", when you simplify the inequality it comes down to "i<3u". I know it is fairly nerdy, but it has to be a little cute right?

I figured Lila would find it a bit creepy if the geek who sits behind her in math class decided to leave flowers on her porch so I left them all anonymous. I was thinking about how she would react to the flowers I had for her today as I made my way around the lake. Yesterday in math she mentioned her favorite color was blue, so I purchased a small bouquet of blue flowers for her. Hopefully she would not take a hint from the color of the flowers . . .

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a foul stench. I covered my nose with my sweatshirt and began to search for the source. With my free hand I picked up a small stick and began to shuffle around some leaves in attempt to reveal the origins of the awful odor. If you took ten gym lockers and combined them all, this smell was still worse. I felt my stick poke something "mushy", for lack of a better word and immediately began to remove the leaves covering the object.

It was a skunk.

Apparently it was in such a hurry to die, that it could not make it five yards further and find a more convenient place to kick the bucket. I pushed it's lifeless body off the path so it would not be stepped on by oblivious runners that passed by this area, and continued on my route. Looks like my blue flowers were going to have to wait another day as I had no intentions of showing up on Lila's porch smelling like a dead skunk.

It took about ten minutes until I finally made it home. I lived in an average two story home painted white, at the end of a cul-de-sac. My mom always wanted to paint it, said white was "too generic" but I guess between her job and family matters she never got around to it.