I'll Fade Away

2: You're Such A Dick

Oli's POV

After the girl stepped into our van, I instantly stiffened. Why is she here? I hate having women around me and Matt knows that too. I know what you're thinking. 'Why doesn't the rock star like women?' It a long fucking story that I'd rather not tell.

"What's your name, love?" Jordan asked.

"Va-Valarie." She muttered. I rolled my eyes at her. She's probably just acting all flustered.

"Lovely to meet you. I'm-" Jordan began but she cut him off by putting we hand up and smiling a little.

"I know who you are.. I'm a big fan.." She murmured. Why was she being so damn shy? Aren't you supposed to be flirting around if you wanted to get in someone's pants?

"Valarie... Can I ask you some questions?" Matt trailed off. As I heard the softness in his voice, I instantly became curious. He was never this gentle with people.

"I guess." Valarie said.

"Why'd you do it?" Matt questioned. Do what? What the fuck did she do?

"I just.. I didn't.. I couldn't stand to live anymore. I didn't really feel the need to go on." She said softly. My eyebrows arched and I scoffed.

Valarie's head snapped up and she looked at me curiously.

"W-what?" She stammered. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head a little.

"Trust me. I'm sure your life wasn't that bad. You probably just broke up with your boyfriend and you're so heartbroken and shit. You're just after attention like every woman is." I spat.

After my little outburst, I looked down to my nails and pretended to examine them.

I heard a loud sob and heavy breathing. I didn't dare look up because I knew if I did I'd get judged and slapped.

"I-I just.. I d-didn't think-" Valarie began but I guess she was either cut off or she didn't want to continue her sentence.

"Really? Did you really just fucking say that?" Jordan snapped. I looked up immediately, surprised that came from Jordan.

"Fuck, Oli. Youre such a dumbass. She's a fan. A pretty big one. Our music just saved her life." Matt whisper-yelled. I could tell he was getting pissed because there was a vein throbbing in his neck.

"No, Oliver you're a Dick. And people look up to you?" Jordan interluded while his hands were clenched on the wheel of the Van.

"Thing is I know what it's like to feel suicidal so don't fucking tell me otherwise" I shot at him by accident.

The van was dead silent after my sudden outburst. I could feel the tension build up slowly but surely. I mean they can't blame me for being a dick. I'm constantly used to being stepped on and thrown away, that I've grown numb to the pain

And now I'm bitter. To the core.

And I have one woman to blame.

My ex girlfriend Cher. I was planning on proposing to her the other day, but I had caught her cheating.

~Flashback~

I pulled into the driveway and noticed that there was a car in my usual spot. I figured it was just one of Cher's friends and that she would be leaving soon so I parked behind Cher's car.

I got out of my car and walked up to the front door. There were noises going on from somewhere in the house, but brushed it off. It was probably just the TV..

Once I stepped inside, I realized something was wrong. The TV wasn't on but the noises had gotten louder. I shut the door and the noises stopped. I pulled my eyebrows together and thought to myself 'what the hell is going on?'

My thoughts were getting the best of me and I was praying silently that they weren't true. I threw my keys onto the counter and jogged up the stairs. Once I had gotten to the top, I quickly walked to Cher and I's bedroom. As I gripped the handle, the noises started up again and they were coming from right behind the door and I was disgusted by them. The creaks of our bed and the moans of Cher and some man.

My hold on the doorknob loosened a little. I bit my bottom lip and looked down at the ground as tears flowed from my eyes. A wave of anger flashed through me and I gripped the doorknob again. I opened it up and slammed it against the wall.

"O-Oli!" Cher squeaked out. The tears started to fall quicker and fall harder. The sight in front of me was just horrible. Cher on top of him and him holding her waist. I couldn't deal with anything right now.

"Get the fuck out." I mumbled quietly, my anger building up. My fist were clenching and in clenching and I knew that if they both didn't get out soon, it wouldn't be a pretty sight for anyone.

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" I screamed. For being the lead vocalist/screamer, my throat killed me. They both scrambled with their clothes and with that, I had gone back downstairs.

Cher and the man came down dressed and flustered.

"Oli, I still-" she began. I knew what she was going to say but I didn't wanna hear it. Never. Not from her.

"Shut up. Just.. J-just get out..." I whispered. I didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

"W-what about my st-stuff." She muttered.

"I'll get someone to give it to you. I don't ever want to see you back here again. Now just leave!" I cried out, my voice cracking.

She sniffled and ran out. The man was still standing there and I stared at him.

"Well?! Get the fuck out you prick!" I shouted. He scrambled out and I heard the door slam. My head leaned back, hitting the wall, and I slid down until I was sitting. I cradled my head in my hands and cried.

What did I do to deserve this..?

~Flashback over~

I wiped away a few tears, remembering the scene clearly. I looked over towards Valarie and saw she was crying into Matt's side. He stared at me and I looked away.

After a few minutes I cleared my throat and I said something I never thought I'd say to a woman ever again.

"I'm sorry.."

~~~~~

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