Butterflies all over.
That was all I could think. I was in a field of butterflies that were circling around Jacob and me. We were dancing to a song I did not recognize at first, but it bridged in to Clair de lun. Jacob was beautiful as always but he was gazing at me as if I was the prize and not him. Impossible, he had it mixed up. I looked down to see the blue and green silk gown on me. It was beautiful but compared to him it was nothing. My skin glowed nice and lightly in the sun.
The song ended as I realized where we were. We were at the baseball clearing, the same one that - if not for Alice and Nuhuel, I had almost died in about two years ago. Jacob saw my reaction and his face formed into a soft frown. Then he leaned down to kiss me.
His lips were as soft as velvet on mine; sweeter then blood. It was as if he wanted to say something but could not. It was like he couldn't find the right words. Almost as if, he was afraid to say it. His lips said it all for him though.
Then his lips were more urgent, too urgent, something was wrong. But what could be wrong with this moment? Nothing. Well at least I could not think of anything. He could.
"I'm sorry you have to do this." He whispered in my ear; his voice breaking. It broke my heart to see him in this much pain. I could only see understanding and love on his face and a hint of pain.
Then the Volturi - the most powerful family in the vampire world - attacked him. They ripped him apart right before my eyes. He did not fight or defend himself. No, he just let it happen. I wanted to scream but couldn't. Something was beginning up inside me; growing, but I did not know what. Could it be anger, hate, madness, repulsiveness, maybe depression? Whatever it was, it was overtaking me; pulling me in to a dark abbess. Blood was everywhere as he was torn apart. Blood splattered on the field and over my clothes and face. All I could do was stare in shock as my love was killed in front of me.
My life, my friends, my family, nothing mattered any more. The only thing that mattered was revenge. They killed my only reason for living, my life. Death for death, that was only fair. That was the only justice here in this field.
I ran to the Volturi to attack. I then realized that I did not feel a hate for them like I should have, but a hate for myself. My feelings were suddenly changed. I scratched at my skin, hoping I could tear this feeling off me. I was hoping it was just a mask that I could take off at any time. I realized that I was not wearing the same beautiful silk gown as before in the swarm of butterflies, but a long dark satin robe that belonged to the Volturi. I was one of them.
I watched in horror as they walked to me and patted me on the back, just like I belonged with them. In horror, I realized that I do not belong with them, but that I belong to them. I looked down and saw blood staining my hands. They then turned to the east side of the field and walked slowly - for a vampire - back to their home, back to my home. I had thought highly of them until now. They protected the vampires and the humans; they made the laws and made sure they were followed. I had always thought highly of them but I never wanted to join them. I was not one to hurt someone if they did not follow the law, but I just had. I did more than hurt; I did what I thought I could never do.
I had killed my love. I had killed my life. I had killed Jacob.
