Monster

Chapter 1

School was hard. Not because of work, that came fairly easy to me. it was the people. Always whispering, always staring. I knew the rumors went around, they had been for awhile.

"What's up with her?"

"I heard she cuts herself"

"What's her problem?"

"Freak"

No I don't cut myself, although I've thought about it. I deserve to be surrounded by pain. But I can't. I promised. Before it happened, I would have seemed like a normal girl. Quiet, shy, not social, but not a freak. As far as my classmates knew, I just disappeared for awhile and came back a freak. A few days after my return, I couldn't touch anyone. If someone happened to even accidentally touch me, I would get sent to a full blown panic attack. It got better, but I still flinch away. My wardrobe also changed. I never wore the cute and fashionable cloths that were so common those days. It was black and grey. Not Goth, but bordering on it.

The teachers tried to help. They sent me to the guidance counselor and called my parents. My mom and dad never answered and the counselor could be a brick wall for the amount of attention I gave her. That's another thing about me, I don't talk anymore. Ever. Because really, what's the point? Nothing I say will change the whispers, the nightmares, and everything else that really matters. Nothing I do will rewrite the past. So I don't bother.

After school I go to the library, and then home. The library is one of the only places I can be alone. Well, not alone, but in peace. I can escape my own world in the beautiful pages in a book, and forget everything for a small amount of time. But every good thing has its end, and I have to go home.

Things went on like that for a long time. Three years. Then two things stepped into my life, a boy and a cat. But before we go into that, let me explain some things to you. I went to Meadow Lark , Private High School for the gifted. To put it simply, it was a school for brainiacs and rich brats. It was the pride and joy of our city. The school was set about three hours from civilization. It resembled Hogwarts in my mind, only not quite as big. The campus was huge and boarding school was an option, but I didn't have enough money to pay for it so I took the long bus ride early in the morning. The school used to have uniforms, but some spoiled kid rich kid didn't like them and his parents filed complaints. I was there on a scholarship. Even though my attitude wasn't appreciated, there was no doubt that the work I produced was amazing. This made me even more of an outcast, but it served its purpose.

Now enter the boy. It was big news around the school. This guy was apparently soooooo hot. His name was Dylan. He was such a big deal that I barely got a glimpse of him, even though we had like four classes together. He was always surrounded by a mob of girls. When I did see him, I had to admit I saw why. He had the bad boy getup, and boy did it work. His hair was long and black, brushing his shoulders. His ears were pierced, four in one ear and two in the other. His leather jacket and tight fitting t-shirt outlined his beautifully muscled arms and chest. He wasn't bulky though, rather lean. This combined with his stormy gray eyes made him look like an angel fallen from heaven. Even I had to stare for a bit.

Of course, there was no actual contact between us. At least for the first few days. But then, on a hateful Wednesday, (Wednesdays for me are like Mondays for most people), I ran into him. Well, not him exactly, but someone near him at the time. See, I was just minding my own business, carrying my sad little lunch to my personal little corner, when all the sudden he and a pretty girl with a white blouse and long blond hair paraded right into my path. I maneuvered quickly around Dylan, but the girl wasn't so lucky. My chocolate milk (it is a known fact that chocolate fixes everything) flew of my tray and proceeded to land on pure white blouse. Only it wasn't white anymore.

"You bitch!" she screamed, "Do you know how much this costs? Watch were you're going freak!"

Oh crap. The girl I had spilled on was Sabrina Evens. She was easily in the top ten most respected and feared members of the entire school! Her dad owned a huge line of grocery stores and she was filthy rich. Damn. This was not good. She was obviously making a move on Dylan when I had come in. No wonder she was pissed. I was dead.

The cafeteria was silent. The school princess and the school freak having a showdown in front of the bad boy was apparently a source of great interest. Honestly. Even I had more of a life than that.

She waited, obviously expecting me to break down crying or start apologizing. Ha! She would be sorely disappointed.

Brushing myself off and standing up, (I had fallen somewhere during the incident) I started gathering up my stuff, feeling the pressure of the eyes observing my every move. Sabrina's face was going redder by the second as I continued to ignore her.

"Apologize right now you wh-"

She was interrupted by the sound of choked laughter. Looking up, I was stunned to see Dylan, eyes streaming and hand over his mouth, pointing at Sabrina's shirt. The chocolate milk had soaked through her shirt, making her bra visible. That in itself wasn't the cause of the laughter though. Her bra was....stuffed with toilet paper. Mouth hanging open, she looked down at herself, and then up at me. Who knew that Sabrina had such a flat chest? Mine wasn't much to be proud of, and I was glad about that but...wow. Tears now streaming from her eyes, she shot a withering glare at me.

"You'll pay for this you asshole!" She sobbed, and ran out of the room. Great. Just great. Now I had her to deal with her. Gotta love Wednesdays. Cleaning up the rest of my lunch, I threw it out and quickly retreated to the nearest bathroom, practically tripping over myself in the process. Dammit! Why now? I was perfectly composed the entire time she was screaming at me! It had been two months since my last panic attack, and I could feel one starting to come up. I had learned to recognize the signs of one soon after they started occurring. It didn't give me much time to get away, this one was gonna be bad. I didn't make it to the bathroom, but I managed to find a trash can. falling on my knees and leaning over it, I tensed, waiting for it to truly begin.

Shivering, I retched again and again into the can. Tears started to gather in my eyes. The memories flashed before me. It was all I could do to keep from screaming.

Blood. So much blood.

Mom? Dad?

I'm scared.

Mommy!

Daddy stop!

I'm sorry Daddy please stop!

Blood everywhere.

Daddy!

No, no please!

Mommy....

Shit this one was bad. I was hyperventilating now. If this didn't stop soon I was going to pass out. My vision was starting to darken. The last thing I saw was a black leather jacket and a heavily ringed hand. Then it all went black.