Kai's Diary

March 8

A/n: Hello!

This is the fifth part of Kai's diary.

I hope you like it!

:)

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March 8

Pain, loneliness, lost and lifeless..

These four words circulating in my head over and over again. And I do not know why.

The pain is not because I am injured, but it's something else. I can not really describe the feeling but it's the feeling that I have hurt someone and it hurts the heart. As if something important in my life is missing. A big part of me. It must have something with my memories to do ..

So, pain, mentally.

Loneliness, I can't really describe it. It has also something to do with pain. Or, yes, I'm alone here, but that isn't right either. The feeling that I have lost someone close to me, or something like that. Much like a hole in my soul.

Lost .. Do not know what I have got it from. Ever since I woke up, I had the feeling that it is better if I just disappear. I am lost. I can not really describe. But .. it feels so. Disappear and never wake up.

But I can not .. can not ..

Lifeless. It is one of the four words I do not know why. It feels like the other three words belong together and creates this word; Lifeless.

What does it mean? Has it a meaning why I'm here, why I have these words in my head and why I feel this way? I can not describe it. It is so difficult.

All my feelings are lost. All my memories are all forgotten and there is nothing I can do. Lying here and be lifeless. It's the only thing I can, as myself. Hurt others and go with troubling feelings and not knowing why.

Why me, why me at all? What have I done in my life? Seriously. If now, the world does not want me here, why does it not end my suffering, and spare those who are close to me?

-

A/n:

The end...

I feel really bad for Kai. Don't you?

Well, have a good day!

^^