silent choir

second: "you matter, too"

He's waiting for me when I slide across the closed door, taking a deep breath. The images still float in my head: my parents are in love with Rahim, and he in love with them, and with me, and I... I'm not in love with the situation.

"Are you all right?"

His voice is deep, soft. Worried. I feel him grab my chin and I open my eyes, realizing I had them closed.

"Don't touch me," I plead weakly.

Stan's eyes are like ice and storm, momentaneously darkened by his furrowed brow.

"You're grey today," I blurt without thinking.

"You too are noticing my eyes?" he asks, his voice taking on an amused cadence.

I rip my chin from his grasp and hide my face on my hands, sighing. My stomach is twisting in a knot that presses on to my chest.

"What are you doing here?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I swallow the knot in my throat. "It's nothing."

You'll say yes, right, Silah?

Don't make him wait, Silah-

Silah-

Silah-

"Silah." The sound of my name in Stan's voice pulls me suddenly out of my head.

"What?" I wipe my eyes, fearing tears.

"Tell me."

And with a shaky breath the entire story goes out of my mind, it's just that his voice is so comforting-

"And they like Rahim so much and he really is a great man mashallah, he doesn't deserve rejection and I have no idea why I don't simply say yes already-"

"Silah," he interrupts me, a bizarre serious expression on his face. "What you want also matters. You matter, too."

"Mom, dad..." I take a deep breath. "I've made a decision. I'll... I'll say no to Rahim."

"But habibti-"

"Why?"

"It's just that... I don't feel as if he's the right one."

My parents' faces are surprisingly understanding.

"Insha'Allah you'll find the right man for you, habibti."

I grin.

"Insha'Allah."

And, for some reason, I think about Stanley. And I know he would smile if he was here with me.

A/N: I really, REALLY hope the arabic in here isn't as awkward as I felt it. Really.

-Catty