A Journal

Sadness

11/1/15 2:17 PM

I feel sad today. I don't know why... Maybe it has to do with Skitzo being done and over. Maybe it has something to do with the party last night?

I went to a Halloween party last night. It was my friend's, Emma. It was pretty crazy, I must say. I got payed to dress up in Gloria's clothes, so I did for my new PC I'm going to build. I'm excited for it. But it wasn't easy to do. Even though it was for money, I had trouble deciding whether my integrity or money was more important. Obviously, I choose money. I got a total of $25. During the party, after having some fun, my friend, Roy, were having a friendly fight over KitKats some of my. It was fun. After, I suddenly felt depressed. I went into the bathroom and locked myself in. I proceeded to hit my head against the door. It felt good. It was helping clear my thoughts. Though, it was worrying another girl at the party, Catherine. She somehow opened the locked door and sat down. Now, there is a ship with me and her, so the others closed the door and locked us in. We had a nice talk about why I felt sad, but I didn't really want to tell her why exactly. Then another girl came in, Natalie. We had another talk, and then Emma came in. I still felt sad, but as we talked, I felt a little bit better.

I felt fine for the rest of night, but much more serious and well-behaved which was weird. Especially when we came up to eat because the hostess' mother was there. Most  didn't act this way, so I feel like her mom won't let us come back. Or at least Peter because he took off his shirt after getting it dirty. What was he thinking?

Hey, that was 314 words at the end of that paragraph. Fun.

I just sat in the basement with some other respectful people after I ate.

Then, as the teenagers we are, we did truth or dare which turned into dare. I won't go into detail. What would you expect from a group of teenage boys and girls?

I still feel sad. I want to ask Gloria something private, but her account can be accessed by Emily so I can't. It has nothing to do with her, only about something. Why do you care? Why are you reading this?

I think I feel sad because of how much I worry  about my future, with my job, school, and girls. Though, why? Why am I thinking so far down?

Who am I even? 

11/1/15 3:04 PM