Bought Love

Chapter 3

Katniss

After Peeta goes back into the house, I stay in the barn with the animals. They are strange from the ones I know. The large black horse with long hair covering his hooves is nothing like the free spirited little painted mustangs that we ride in the reservation, although his eyes are gentle and kind. The white cow with black spots as though buckets of paint were dumped on her is far better fed than the skinny red brown cattle that people keep where I came from. Even the goat, with her pelt the color of the deer that run through the forest marked with black, is much larger than the little white mountain goats that skip from foot hold to foot hold. I walk over to her and she cries to me. I tentatively reach my hand out to touch her and she nibbles at my hand as though looking for some of the grain I was feeding to the horse. I find myself laughing.

"I don't have any for you right now," I say. She cries in reply. "You'll all be feed later. Right now, I need to make sure my new husband is fairing well." As I try to leave, she grabs on to the hem of my long blue calico dress. "Now stop that you!" She cries at me and I smile for the first time today and kneel down to her level.

"What is it little one?" I ask. She lets out a little bleat and nuzzles me as though I were her baby. I feel the tears from earlier well back up and I start crying. The weight of the world all falls on me at once and I just sit there on the dirt floor of the barn crying. As this terrible day comes to a close, I've realized how close I am to the part I was terrified of most of all.

Having to share a bed with Peeta.

It being our wedding night, I know what will be expected of me. But even though he is my husband, Peeta is also a complete stranger. I don't know if I can consummate a marriage where there is no love at all. He seems nice, but I still don't know him. I have no idea what I will be walking into when I go inside. I hear footsteps and look up to see Peeta standing there with a handkerchief. I take it from his hands and wipe my eyes before I feel his arms around me as he gently stands me up.

"Come on," he says. "Supper's ready." I follow him into the house, feeling strangled by the dread growing in the back of my throat. The table is set with two bowls of stew and the kettle still sets beside the fire to keep it warm. He pulls out the chair for me and I sit down to the enticing looking meal he made. We eat in silence, only looking up once in a while to catch the other's eye. After we finish, I quietly collect the dishes and wash them in the sink, fascinated by the running water. Peeta disappears, saying something about chores, but I don't really hear as I stack the bowls and cups in the cupboards. I place more wood in the fire and cover the kettle before sighing and going to the bedroom.

I sit on the edge of the bed and start to unbutton my dress. It slides off my shoulders and I shiver as the cool night air touches my shoulders. I stand up and let it drop to the floor and I gather it up into a pile in the corner. I hear the door open and turn around to see Peeta covering his eyes.

"Sorry," he says. "I didn't know you were in here." He tries to leave but I walk over to him and grab his arm.

"Why are you sorry?" I ask as I gently remove his hand from his face. He looks at me nervously and I feel my heart beat faster as his eyes as blue as the sky reflected on the river study my face.

"Because you're uh," he starts and I find myself slightly amused and actually finding comfort that he's just as scared as I am about this.

"We are married," I say. "You were bound to see me like this sooner or later."

"But," he says and I shake my head.

"Peeta," I say. "This isn't that big of a deal."

"But it kind of is," he says. I carefully unbutton the front of the incredibly tight corset and groan as I'm finally able to breath again. He stares at me with wide eyes and I gently reach up and start to unbutton his shirt. "We're strangers Katniss."

"Maybe," I say. "But we're married. This is how it is supposed to be."

"But," he says and I press my fingers to his lips.

"I'm scared too," I say. "And if you don't want to, we don't have to do anything but sleep tonight." He nods and I gently slide the shirt off his shoulders. I take it and throw it in the pile I made in the corner. When I turn around, he's gathering up extra blankets from the cupboard. "What are you doing?"

"You can have the bed," he says. "I'll take the floor." Even though it would make me feel a little more comfortable, I feel a little hurt that he doesn't want to sleep next to me.

"Do you not like me or something?" I ask. "Is it because I'm a Savage?"

"Of course not," he says as he walks across the creaky floor. "I've admired your people for years. The fact that your father was Cherokee will never matter to me. It's just," He stops, nervously looking at his feet. I unbutton my petticoat skirt and let it pool at my feet, leaving me in nothing but my undertop and undershorts. Peeta swallows nervously.

"It's just what?" I ask. He refuses to look at me and a strange thought occurs to me. "Are you afraid of me?"

"No," he says. "I'm afraid of me." That causes me to laugh.

"Why would you be afraid of yourself?" I ask. In the pale moonlight, I can see a faint blush rise to to his cheeks as he finally looks up at me, his blue eyes blinking at me shyly from beneath his blonde curls.

"You are so beautiful that I don't trust myself around you," he says and I feel warmth rush to my own cheeks at that.

"That doesn't mean you have to stay on the floor," I say. "You have just as much right to this bed as I do."

"I'll be fine on the floor," he says.

"It's still early spring," I say. "It's too cold for you to stay down there."

"But I don't want to be the kind of person that leaves my wife shivering on the floor while I sleep in the bed," he says. I shake my head as I unbraid my hair, letting it fall to my waist in smooth waves.

"Then I guess you are going to have to get past your fears and crawl underneath these quilts with me," I say. "Because in my book, it's no more right for me to let you do the same."

I lay down and find myself thankful for the thick coverings, even if they don't have the sweet musky scent nor the warmth of the buffalo hides that made my bed at home. I look across the room and watch as Peeta reluctantly removes his dirty trousers and lays down in the soft bed next to me, causing it to shift slightly with his weight. There is only one pillow so we lay close together so we can share.

"Goodnight Peeta," I whisper. A faint smile reaches his face and he brushes a piece of my thick hair away from my face.

"Goodnight Katniss," he whispers back and as I close my eyes, I feel him press a kiss to my cheek.