He was faceless, but he was everything. He was the reason I still breathed, aside from Moonsie. It would've been better if I never found out more- at least, that's what I used to think.
(edited xx).
****
I'm fuming so hard as I stalk away from Michael, my fists clenched and my arms stiff at my sides. I can't get my mind off of it, the way a churning storm awaited me behind his eyes, begging me to take the bait. But I didn't, and I've promised myself I never will.
The grass is wet with early dew, my feet swishing furiously as I crush the deeply green blades. Jay hops up from his spot in the circle to meet me, but I stalk past him, my heart beating in my chest erratically. Can Jay see my heart beating? It must be impossible for him not to.
"Hey, Skipper!" Jay calls after me, running to catch up. "Hey! What happened, are you alright?" "No! He's so infuriating, he just..." "It's ok, just ignore him." I can't! I want to tell him I can't! There's a part of me that yearns for Michael, yearns to know him. Aches for him to want me the way I can't stop myself from wanting him, no matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise. He's even more magnetic than Zeus, but his bi-polar mood swings frustrate me.
Jay faces me, frowning with his eyebrows furrowed in concern. I face him. He's everything I ever thought about in a guy, not that I really spent much time on it. He seems to like me for me, and he's not hard to look at. His smile is sweet, his eyes have a lack of turmoil. "Skipper, I-" I stand on tiptoes, and press my mouth to his, hooking my arms around his neck. He smiles through the kiss, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"You're so amazing." He whispers into my hair, brushing the surface of my cheek with his thumb. I'm gonna force myself to like Jay the way I ache for Michael. He's the ideal guy, so... I've decided he's gonna be my only focus. I rest against him. "You are too." I know he's grinning without even lifting my head from his chest.
****
What is the name of the procedure that removes excess liquid from the pericardium? Pericardiocentesis. Easy. I would already be done with this week's pretest if it weren't for Michael staring at me. I tuck a curly ringlet of hair behind my ear, and close my eyes. The lecture hall for my surgery class is too big, too empty, toomuch space and not enough people. There's nothing to distract me, not even the medical knowledge on the pretest to keep me from acknowledging the icy brown eyes glued to me.
"Princess Joanne Nelson." Michael whispers for the fiftieth time today. I close my eyes, growling quietly. I will never give in to him, even though my heart is begging me to. I wish I hated him. It would be so much easier if I did. My heart rate wouldn't speed up when he talked to me, my skin wouldn't prickle at the slightest brush of his fingertips. My conscience wouldn't betray me every time I see his beautiful face...
Right now my conscience is cooperating with me. "Princess Joanne Nelson!" He whispers more urgently, his hand sliding across the long desk towards my spot. The seats are not assigned in this class, so he could sit in a different spot everyday if he wanted to. Instead, probably to spite me (and torture me) he sits in the spot right next to me everyday.
"Shut up! I'm done talking to you!" I almost spit, barely containing the venom in my voice. "Why?" He says quietly, softly, everything that's the opposite of Michael.
"All you do is make me emotional, and hurt me! I will not be friends with you, I will not be your girlfriend, I will not talk to you, look at you, or even breathe your air! So give up now, because I am done!" I whisper-scream, standing to turn my test in. He scowls, his eyes harder than diamonds once again, and... just as shiny and beautiful.
