My Super Hero

My Super Hero - I'm not gay! Wanna bet?

My Super Hero 

Chapter 3 - I'm not gay! Wanna bet?

It was strange being away from home. No matter how much noise everyone made, it still seemed my mom could be louder. She was like Billy Mayes. Always shouting, even via text message or email. Now that I think about it I don't think I've ever heard her whisper. I laughed quietly to myself as I joined Jaime and Natalie in the car. They had dragged me off for a day of "fun", instead though we went shopping for five hours. It was absolute torture. I'd rather eat my old barbie dolls.

"Oh my god." Jaime hollered. "look at that man meat." 

I smacked my face. Did I mention Jaime is obsessed with guys?

"He is so cute." She muttered, while quickly wiping the corners of her mouth. She's been known to drool.

Natalie and I sighed. "Jaime he's too old for you."

She cocked her head to the side. "Oh -- you thought I was talking about that older man, given he his cute, I was talking about the guy next to him."

I searched for this mysterious "guy". You never knew what kind of person it would be with Jaime.

"What the heck?" Natalie sputtered in between giggles. I turned around to face her. "Where is he?"

She pointed and I followed with my eyes. Standing next to the senior citizen was a 10 year old boy.

"WHAT THE HECK?" I shouted at her.

Natalie laughed louder. "Jinx."

I ignored her and smacked Jaime repeatedly while she drove. "What is -smack- wrong with you -smack- you can't date -smack- senior citizens -smack- or little children -smack-."

She rolled her eyes. "You act like I'm a pedophile." 

I lowered my head into my hands. "You are a pedophile." I muttered.

Natalie giggled.

"What did you say?" Jaime inquired. 

I shook my head. "Nothing."

She nodded. A few minutes later her head whipped around. "Okay that is a cute old man."

I yanked the steering wheel to the right, narrowly missing a stray old lady. "Crazy youngins" She hollered at us.

I blushed. "Why don't I drive?" Jaime shook her head. "No way."

This time she was turned all the way around, leaving me to steer and navigate through traffic while she continuously sped up. At the rate we were going  we could've ran over hundreds of old folks.

I turned right, barely missing another old lady. What is it? Old ladies walk into the middle of the road day?

I sighed and drove past yet another old lady. Okay, this is getting old. Where the heck are all these old people coming from? Did they get lost from the senior center? Forget to take their meds?

"What are you doing?" Jaime asked, while taking the steering wheel back.

"You were too busy --"

"Honey please I always pay attention to the road. I could drive with my eyes closed." She decided to give me a demonstration. She closed her eyes and removed her hands from the wheel. "See we're still alive."

And of course another one of those mysterious old ladies decide to walk into the middle of the road. I yanked the steering wheel right as Jaime opened her eyes.

"What are you doing? You are undermining my abilities." 

I coughed. "If I weren't here there would be a lot of mysterious old lady murders around town."