Number One | Vmin

Lost

Jimin POV

I can't believe this… I actually agreed with this… Well, is not like I have any other choice… But still… Everything seems so surreal… Is just that… It’s funny how I lost everything and everyone important to me in just one day… No, it’s not funny… It’s really painful... Everything feels like a dream… Or better, a nightmare… A nightmare that I can't wake up from, for much I keep trying… This was the reality… And a cold and hurtful one...

And now, here I was, in Suga’s dorm, in his living room, lying in the couch. It seems that he lived alone and that he had the dorm all for himself, because of his “really not good” reputation and because of the constants complains from his ex roommates… But, for my surprised, it was actually organized and clean. Everything was in his place. Normally, I would feel comfortable and happy in staying in a dorm like that… but this was the Suga’s dorm… So, instead, a mixture of feelings, like anxious, flutter and hate, was stuck inside when I kept looking around me...

But I couldn't complain… Because, like this, I had a place to stay for this last week, even if I could end up by regretting in being here… And, yeah... I knew already really well that I would regret this a lot in the future...

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to keep feeling these painful emotions that I had always when I looked around me, realizing where I was and what was the reality. I wanted to be somewhere else. Somewhere far away from here. I wanted to believe that I was in my dorm, in Tae arms, in his embrace… So, I closed my eyes, to imagine that and to try believe hopelessly that was there where I really was now. But, even with my eyes close, I couldn’t grab myself to those illusions, because I could still feel that cold and uncomfortable couch… And not feel Tae’s warm...

I stayed with eyes closed. That was the only way for me to get hurt less with the memories that kept popping in my mind. Only falling asleep would make me forget everything… Well, of course, temporary… But I wouldn't sleep… I couldn't sleep in this conditions, for much I could wish to... And it’s not like I wanted... I knew that I would get even worse nightmares if I felt asleep, because of all the problems troubling my mind... And even if I actually had dreams during my sleep, specially with Tae in them, later I would wake up again for this hateful world, where Tae won't never be my side…

I miss him…

...

I hate this...

I felt some tears starting to form in my eyes, but then I started to hear steps getting closer to me… He was here...

“So, here it is my sleeping beauty~” He said, playing with his voice to provoke me, and I didn't said anything right away. But, as I knew that he was expecting an answer from me and that he would do everything that comes to his mind to make me give him one, I ended talking.

“What do you want?” I responded coldly, opening my eyes and wiping discreetly one small tear that rolled down in my cheek, trying to not let him notice it, and glared at him.

“Hey, don’t treat me like that~ I’m here to help you~” He leaned closer to me and caressed my cheeks softly, but still teasingly. But then he stopped, to look more carefully at my face, and widened his eyes... “Hey, have you been cryin-”

“Leave me alone.” I hit his hand away and he smirked. He topped me right away and I gave him a piercing look.

“Well, it seems that you still feel emotions, for you to cry~ Let me explore more of those last feelings that you still have inside you~” He got his face closer to mine and started kissing me, after managing to get his tongue inside my mouth without even my permission. He explored every corner, until he finally reached my tongue. He started to compete with my tongue, but stopped the competition right away, as he noticed that I wasn't giving any fight. After a while, he broke the kiss coldly and looked at me with a disappointed and, at the same time, angry expression.

“Are you already satisfied?” I asked glaring at him with only hate in my eyes. And he looked shocked to me, before biting his lip angrily and frowning.

“Hmph. Whatever.” He stood up and went inside his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Damn… He actually got really angry… Why…? I should be the only one angry here! I’m the one broke in pieces that was abandoned by everyone and that now is only a toy to despicable and hateful person. So…  Why?!

...

Who cares anyway? He has anything to do with me. Whatever happens to him is not my business. Actually anything that happens around me is not my business anymore. Even because I’m no one’s business anymore…

I started crying again, but this time without any sign to stop too soon. I tried to do it silently, to not let Suga hear, but my sobs started getting more audible with the time and I knew he could hear me at any moment. But why was I worried with that anyway...? Even if he hears me crying, is not like he will care about it and will come to see me. So, it’s oka-

“If you are going to act all cold to people, don’t cry after.” I suddenly heard a voice from behind the couch and that startled me. I looked back and saw Suga leaned with his elbow in the couch and with his hand supporting his head, while glaring at me. For how much time was he there? I didn’t even noticed him leaving his bedroom...

“Who cares? I do whatever I want.” I said turning to other side, to try to ignore him.

“Really? Is this what you wanted then? Because I think that you never wanted to be in this situation, to be crying right now and to be next to me, right? Did you really wish to be doing that? Or did you just lost the power to want and to wish, but still pretend to have those things to just justify your situation and to get less hurt?” He responded and I looked shocked and scared at him. He had just hit my weak point… He had just threw the hurtful truth at my face as it was nothing… Fuck… I already had enough!

I stood up immediately, to start walking away to leave the dorm, but before I could do that, he started talking again.

“Jimin, where are you going…? Do you still have anywhere to go?” He asked and I stopped right in front of the dorm. Yeah… For much I wanted to leave, I didn't had anywhere to go… I didn't have anywhere to belong now…

I felt in my knees and started crying even more, without caring about Suga that was behind me and still staring at me. I was stuck there. I couldn't leave, for much I wanted. Because, outside this dorm, it would only be waiting for me a world of emptiness. And, empty, my heart was enough….

Yeah, I finally realized...

...

...I had lost my world... My floor… My happiness… My life...

…

...In the same moment that I had lost Tae…

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New chapter. \(*-*)/ I'm starting to put music in the beginning of some chapters, because I love you all. e.e XD You're welcome. e.e XD

I hope you enjoyed. ^-^

Bye ~(*-*~)

- Danielar