we'll meet again

"I told you, once, that I believe in reincarnation. Lives after death." I grip his hand, the tears sliding down my cheeks as if they have a right to be there. They shouldn't be there. He shouldn't be dying. "I still believe in that." His eyes are as stormy as ever but they no longer look as if thunder will roll or lightning will strike. "I don't know if you believe in it. But I do. And I will look for you in every life that I live. I will find you every time and love you. Even if you don't love me back I will love you every day until the end of my days. And then I will love you in the next days." I nod, pressing my chapped lips to his forehead and choking down a sob. 

"I believe you. I'll find you too. I'll love you in every life I live." But I don't believe him. The belief of reincarnation is not something he and I have ever shared. Yet I can't tell him that. Not whilst his last breaths shake his body and I still love him. 

"Don't lie to me. You don't have to believe in it. I'll still find you. I'll always find you." Of course he can tell I was lying. When has he not been able to? My lips turn warily into a shaky smile and his eyes flash - one last strike of lightning to say goodbye. "I love you."

"I love you too. I always will." His arms reach up and we hold each other close, lips feathery against each others cheeks as they whisper the love we have shared and the shadows of my hair on his forehead shout the memories we have created. 

"I know." He breathes, squeezing me tight. Now I let out a sob, guilty that in his last moments he will see me only as sad. And I continue to hold him; long past his last breath.