You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This

3. Bottle It Up

Logan's POV

"Tyler? Why would you be talking to Tyler? I'd figure you would be having a conversation with your mom about me staying the night." I laughed.

He looked at me and sighed. "I'm serious Jo. He knows."

"Knows wha..." Then realization hit. "What?! How could he know? You told him?!" I kind of felt upset that he would tell Tyler but I couldn't shake why.

"Calm down. I didn't say a word. He was being nosey when we were talking outside. He all of a sudden feels the same. That oughta make you feel real good." He said as he hopped off and closed the tailgate.

I stood there in disbelief. He started to walk towards the driver door when I ran to him and grabbed his hand. "Whoa, hold on where are you going? You aren't walking away from me twice. We need to talk about some things." I pulled him back over to the back of the truck, pulled the tailgate down and patted the seat next to me after I hopped on. He shook his head and laughed.

"I miss your draw." He laughed. "You got all city girl on me."

I bumped him with my shoulder. "I still have it. I can still say ya'll and all that stuff." He laughed even harder. "I'm serious Nate. Why did you look so upset that Tyler knows?"

Nathan's POV

I looked down at the ground and she leaned in trying to look me in the eye. "Come on Nate. Do you think he isn't good enough for me? You're my best friend. You should support me in whatever I decide right?"

My head snapped up when she said that. I couldn't believe that after all this time she still felt the same way about him. I know he is my brother but he is one of the biggest jerks in Texas. She has seen firsthand at the jack ass he can be. She is right about one thing. He isn't good enough for her. I wish people were wrong when they said that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' because if I loved her before she left, seeing her here now just makes my heart want to jump out of my chest. I just kept thinking of all the times that we had and how she could have not noticed that I had feelings for her. At that point I decided to change the subject.

"So did you make any knew friends these past 5 years? And by friends I mean girlfriends, and are they going to visit you here?" I smiled and she glared at me. I was hoping it was a hint of jealousy but I knew better. "Yes I made friends quit trying to change the subject on me."

"Look Joey. I'm not gonna tell you who to date and when to date them. You're grown and I'm not your father. If you want to be with Tyler that's all your decision. I'm not gonna tell you otherwise. I will always be here when you need me, but you and I both know how he is and you have said yourself that you never thought that it would ever be able to work between you guys." I stood up and signaled for her to do the same. I put the tailgate back up and kept my hand on it. "It's getting late and I have to be up early tomorrow for the rodeo."

"Rodeo?" she look at me confused. "You really went through with that?" she look scared, angry, disappointed, and worried all at the same time. "You promised me that you would let me know when you made that decision and that I would have a say in that decision."

"Well you weren't here." I said started to get angry. "I did what I had to do and if it helps put food on my family's table and pay the bills then I'm gonna do what I have to."

"That's not fair Nathan. You know I had to leave." She sighed.

"Yeah I know. Because of Tyler." I slammed my hand on truck. "It always comes down to Tyler doesn't it? You didn't care about how anyone felt that you were leaving. All you cared about was running from him because you couldn't stand to see him with anyone else but you all while being afraid of telling him how you felt at the same damn time! So don't come around here trying to make me feel bad about doing something that you aren't okay with when you didn't even take into consideration the fact that maybe I wasn't okay with you leaving!"

"Nate..." she tried to reach for me and I pulled back. "No Logan. Not this time. I always end up feeling bad when I hurt your feelings. It's time for you to start feeling bad about hurting mine."

"You've sheltered me ever since I met you. You never gave me the chance or even time to think that I ever hurt you. Why are you so against me and Tyler? Nothing is even happening between us. I don't understand why you are so upset?"

"What do you want me to say? That I'm content? That I wish you would've stayed? Only one of those is true and at this point I'm starting to think the latter isn't the one." I turned away and got in my truck. I looked in my rear view and she just stood there. I had to fight every urge inside of me to get back out and comfort her but I had to stand my ground. If I was ever going to be the least minimum alright with her and Tyler being together I had to push her away. I took another look back in the rear view before I drove off but she was gone. At that moment I heard a knock on my window. I opened my door because the window was jammed. She had tears in her eyes and we just looked at each other in silence until I tried to speak up.

"Jo..." she cut me off. "You know what Nathan. I was so happy to come back and see you. I have missed you the whole time I was gone. You know I met a girl over there that I became really close to. I told her everything about home. Tyler and you. I told her everything we did together and how you always had my back and protected me. She thought that you had feelings for me." She huffed. I wanted so bad to tell her that her friend was right but I didn't want to interrupt her. "I kinda believed it at first you know? But now that I'm here with you that couldn't be further from the truth. If this is how it's going to be Nathan then I quit. I can't take you being this mean and distant. If you don't want me to be with Tyler that's fine. But it's not your decision to make. Like you said, I'm grown. I have looked out for myself the past five years I'm pretty sure I can keep going." She walked away and I lost it.

Logan's POV

I tried to hold my tears back for as long as I could. When I felt that they were going to spill faster I started running. I didn't know where I was going, I just ran. When I got to the point to where my feet couldn't carry me anymore I fell to my knees and cried.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" I looked up and I could barely make out his face through the blurriness. "Logan? Right?" he handed me a handkerchief and I wiped my eyes. I looked around at my surroundings and noticed that I was at the bar from last night. He held out his hand and I took it as he helped me up. He signaled to the bar, "Wanna talk about what's going on? Water is on the house." He smiled and I nodded following him in. I sat down on the stool closest to the door and he poured me a glass of water. "Alright now, this is all I'm giving you. I don't want you to end up here every night like Nathan." I looked at him and he noticed my confusion and he sighed. "Listen, I'm just an old bar tender. I'm not no therapist but I have heard plenty of heartbreak standing behind this bar. Nathan has been coming her ever since you left. I feel like I've known you forever Joey." He laughed.

I about choked on my water. "Nathan has been coming here every night and drinking.....because of me?"

He nodded. "You're a pretty girl and I know deep down you are smart enough to know what is really going on here. Now you can either sit here and talk it out with me, or you can find your best friend and talk it out with him."