Though sharpening my blade and pressing it on my skin may not help the problems I'm dealing with but it helps bring out the pain I deserve.
I know it's not right to wear a happy smiling mask but to tell everyone in the world I'm okay I have to. Before they question my sadness.
I didn't plan to cry myself to sleep every night but my broken heart hurts so badly it keeps me awake so I can only cry until I pass out from no sleep
I never wanted to take pills to go into eternal sleep but when you have the urge to kill yourself then it's like your duty. To make everyone's lives earlier
I never thought I'd be the person who would be in pain. But after all the painful memories of the past. They have made me into the person I am today.. stuck
But today I will try again to fly maybe off a building or just from my ceiling fan. Maybe sit in the middle of the road or wait for too much blood to run out my wrist. I could also sink to the bottom of a pool or jump in a bon fire. Or maybe put a bullet. Straight through my head.
So then I'll be at the end.
