I am an introvert. I sit back and observe everyone around me. I only speak to others if absolutely necessary. I stay in my room on my laptop, only coming out if i'm starving or for a bathroom break. I hate socializing. I hate people. I hate everyone and everything.
But I want friends. I want to have a social life. I want to go to the mall or movies with my friends and windowshop like they do in movies. I want a life.
But I am an introvert. I am an introvert because I don't know how to socialize with others. I worried about saying something that you will have to be me to understand. I'm worried that no one likes me. I'm worried that i'm being a complete bother everytime I open my mouth to speak to someone. Like they are entertaining my words, just to be nice, but are impatiently waiting for me to wrap up my words. I feel like everyone has better things to do. They have better things than to hang out with me. Because they have a life right? I feel like I do nothing so I have all day to chill with friends, but they have a life so they don't have all that free time.
I am fascinated by social media. I can truly be myself without worrying all the time. Socializing with others comes at ease. It's not a fucking anxiety attack whenever I speaking to someone. I'm not left wondering if that person now hates me because I'm so boring when I exit the conversation. There's no pressure. No one is expecting you to be a certain way. You're free to let your real self out. And the thing about that? No one hates you afterwords. No one judges you. People actually turn out to be just like you. But then your battery dies and you're back to reality. You are an introvert.
If you've ever felt this way, this is for you.
