Caged-(Once Upon a Time)

Chapter 8 (part 2)

Chapter Eight (part 2): I'm Gonna Need Therapy After This

Twist, turn, run, breathe. Dodge, run, escape, don't fall, run, run, RUN!

At least that's what was going through my head as I was chased through a giant's treasure room. Or would it be a treasury? How about a- stop it Kristen. Focus on situation at hand. You're being chased by a pirate and a blonde chick who may or may not look familiar. It was driving me crazy because I knew I had seen her before, but I couldn't place when or where. And because I was thinking so hard, (note to self-don't think while running) I tripped and fell. Which lead to my capture. Reallllllll Smooth, Kristen. Bloody fantastic. The questioning that commenced shortly afterwords went like this (duh, Emma's the frickin' sheriff, of course there was questioning!):

Emma & Co. (because I refuse to acknowledge the bloody pirate"s existence): "Who are you?"

Me: "A person. I think."

Them, because Them is shorter: " You think?"  Cue eyebrow arching.

Me: "Several people have questioned my humanity. Don't ask." they didn't.

Them: "Why are you here?"

Me: "Why are you here?"

Them: "That's none of your concern. Answer the question."

Me: " That's none of your concern. Try again later." I uttered the most annoying thing a magic eight ball had to offer.

Them, or rather the pirate who decided to take over, because this wasn't quick enough: " Look ya little brat, we don't have time for this, so answer the bloody the question or I'll give you a bloody nose."

Me: "Threatning a child, eh? That's low, even for you, Hook." I sneered. "As a citizen of Storybrooke, I could file charges."  Their faces were priceless, I tell you, priceless.

Needless to say, after that shocking relevation, the interoggation stopped. Sort of.

Emma gave an inaudible gasp. Hook just rolled his eyes. " Look, you could be a citizen of Wonderland for all I care. Might give us an explaination for why you seem to be a few pages short of a good book." Emma turned to him.

" She may be a bit suspicious, but she's from Storybrooke, where I'm sheriff, and your crocodile, or whatever you want to call him, lives, so you can't put a sharp end of a sword through her head, got it?" I looked up at this.

" You mean Rumplestiltskin?" Dumb move. Should've opted for escape attempt instead. The pirate turned to me.

"You know him?" 

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, not only do I know him, his alter-ego, and his girlfriend, but of the fact that you took his wife, he found you years later after he became the Dark One, killed said wife, and cut off  your hand, and your still hungry for revenge as ever." He looked a bit unnerved to say the least. I smirked. " I get around, both Storybrooke and the Enchanted Forest. And any realm in between for that matter." That left them a bit baffled. Well, so would this.

I stood up. "As much as I would love to stay and chat, I really must go. Chip chip cheerio and a bottle of rum, all that fun stuff. Au voire!"  Before they could grasp the meaning of my words, I was gone, sucked back into the harsh reality I begrudgely, I mean lovingly, call Storybrooke.

...

....

......

"Have fun?" I opened my eyes to find two, no, three people standing over me, and I felt a sudden urge to kick one where the sun don't shine. Henry and Regina pulled me to my feet, while I glared at the third person who had spoken. "If you don't mind dearie, I'd like to finish this up as soon as possible, so the sooner you step into my shop, the sooner the unpleasantness can be over." Yup. You guessed it. The third person of the mismatched trio was none other then RRRRRRRRumplestiltskin, who I'd been conversing about nine seconds ago. Roll the r's love. Roll the r's. Anyway, that particular phrase of Rumple-speak translated to: Get the hell in my shop so I can kick you right back out ASAP.  I sighed and as I relunctantly pushed open the door, one thought rolled, did cartwheels, kicked and scratched at the poor vessel I call my mind (and what a dark place it is.):

"I'm gonna need therapy after this."

A/N: Did you think I was dead? I hope not! Kristen: I thought you were lazy. Me: Shut up! Anyway I'm back in action, with a new chapter!  And guess what? I got a polyvere! You can follow me at actually-quite-witty. Anyway I'm really excited for the next chapter cause we'll see more of Kristen vs. Dr. Whale, and we all love that! Kristen: I better win! Me: we'll see. But I might not update this story as often, because I have an idea for a new story. What is it? NARUTO ONESHOTS! TA-DA! Kristen: Now do you see why I insist she's outsane? She's abandoning me! Over a loud-mouth blonde, orange-clad freak! Me: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and let me know if you have a request for a naruto oneshot.