Anime ones shots

Makoto x Depressed/Suicidal Reader

So yeah, this one's going to be pretty sad. But depression is a very serious topic and before you start reading I just want to tell you that you're never alone. There will always be someone there for you, someone to talk to. Wether it's a friend, a relative, a parent, a sibling, a teacher or even a complete stranger. There's always someone to listen to what you have to say and comfort you. There's always someone who loves you <3

Here you are, waking up for yet another day of pure torture. You slowly slide out of bed and begin getting ready. You take your pyjamas off and slip on some black, ripped skinny jeans and a grey tank top. You look at yourself in the mirror sighing. "It never gets better does it?" You look down at your arms which are scattered with scars and marks, some new, some old. You put your hoodie and converse on before grabbing your bag and leaving for school.

Your days always started like this. The only reason you even tried to get out of bed in the morning was your best friend Gou and your crush Makoto. Gou always seemed so happy to see you, always smiling and laughing, she was the only thing stopping you from spiralling into darkness. And Makoto has the most beautiful smile, he has such a kind heart, but you could never be with him. Not someone as worthless as you. Nobody knew about your cuts, not even Gou. Every day you'd get to school and put on a fake smile pretending 'It's all okay', you'd laugh with all the other girls, chatting about boys but none of that was real. Honestly, you were far from okay. 3 hospital visits for cutting, 2 failed suicide attempts. You were definitely not okay. You'd been thinking about giving it a third attempt for a while now and you were leaning towards yes.

You get to school at 8:30, 5 minutes early. You go to your first class which is art, your favourite. You enjoyed art because you can express your feelings through your sketches. You wander into the classroom and sit down at your desk pulling down your sleeves and slumping down with your chin rested on your hands. You gaze out of the window deep in thought as the classroom fills up. You suddenly snap out of it as you hear the teacher begin talking. "So today class, I'll be pairing you up and you'll be working on a photography project" the teacher says. He begins reading out names and you perk up hearing yours being called out "(Y/N) (L/N) and Makoto Tachibana" He exclaims as you gaze over to your long-time crush blushing slightly.

You forced yourself to plaster a fake smile on your face as you got up to go and sit with him. As you're getting up, your hoodie catches on the corner of your desk causing you to scratch your wrist on the table. You wince in pain as Makoto looks at you with a worried expression. "(Y/N)! Are you okay?" He asks as you try to think of an excuse.
"Oh-uh...y-yeah um I just scratched my arm on the table" you stutter holding your wrist as the pain starts to leave."Okay then" he smiles patting your back gently before sitting down. You sit down beside him and you both begin talking.

"How come I've known you for almost 7 years now and we've never had an actual conversation?" He asks as you giggle. "I don't really know actually" you reply. You both keep talking for the next hour until the bell rings signalling the end of class. "Hey, how about we exchange numbers and I can meet you after school, then you can come over to mine and we can start the project" he gave a sweet smile. "Okay, sure" you grinned back. Why did you do that? You ask yourself but before you know it, you've exchanged numbers. He would never like you, what are you doing? You question. I need to stop. I can't get close to him, it'll just hurt more people when I'm gone.

-Time skip to after school-
You meet Makoto and you both begin walking to his house. The whole time all you can think is why are you doing this? Why are you talking to him? It'll just cause more pain. He starts telling you a funny story about Haru and you give out a small giggle. "You sound so cute when you laugh" he smiles. You blush and turn away "Don't lie Makoto" you sigh. "I knew it" he suddenly says. "K-Know what?" You ask nervously. "Why do you do this to yourself (Y/N)?" He asks with a serious expression on his face. "I don't know what you mean" you say. He pulls up your sleeves showing your cuts which cover your arms. "Why do you hurt yourself?" You can't help but stare in shock.

"How did y-you know?" You mutter with a shaky voice. "I see how you pull your sleeves down to cover your arms, I see you looking insecure when you're around other people, I see how you wear hoodies in July no matter how hot it is" he says pulling you to face him. "I noticed" you keep staring at him in disbelief. "You need to stop this (Y/N). 3 hospital visits, 2 failed suicide attempts. I know. Just please tell me why you hurt yourself" he says in a softer tone. You suddenly break down in tears gripping his collar tightly and sobbing into his chest. "I-I do it because...I h-hate myself" you sob. "Why can't you just love yourself though? You're beautiful, kind, smart and funny, not to mention you're an incredible artist. So why?" He asks, stroking your hair soothingly.

"B-Because I'm not at all perfect. I have scars. I'm ugly. My stomach isn't thin enough. I'm insecure, lacking confidence. I've been put down so many times that I've lost all feeling...I feel numb almost...numb with pain" you continue crying. "You're none of those things (Y/N) and I know that for a fact. You may not be perfect but you're perfect to me. So...if you can't love yourself then just...just let me love you" he whispers as you gaze up into his emerald eyes. "We can get through this together (Y/N) and I don't care what you say, you're not worthless. I couldn't live without you (Y/N)" You start to cry again but this time, out of happiness. Makoto leans down a little wiping the tears away as he whispers "I love you (Y/N)" before gently grabbing your chin and kissing you. "I love you too Makoto" you whisper back and you do something you haven't done for years. You give a genuine smile.

"That's what I wanted to see" he says flashing his signature grin. "A real smile" you hug him tightly. "M-Makoto?" You say. "Yeah?" He asks, urging you to go on. "P-Promise me you won't leave me, like the rest did" you mutter feeling tears pricking at your eyes threatening to spill. "Why would I ever do that? I'm not stupid, I would never leave you" he says softly. You both reach his house and go to lay down on his bed. He lies down placing his strong arm around you making you feel safe as you place your head on his chest, snuggling in. "Thank you Makoto. I love you" you whisper. "Well I love you more" he whispers back as you both fall asleep happily in each others' arms.