Tell Me You Love Me {Jalex Fanfic}

Chapter 11

"Wait, what?"

Alex frowned and shook his head, "N-Nothing.." He moved over to the cupcakes. "Come on, let's put icing on these."

"Wha- Wait...?" I breathed out, taken aback by his sudden confession. Earlier he was so intent on keeping that a secret.

"What?" Alex asked, breathing heavy and pushing hair out of his face. "What are you talking about?"

"You just said-"

"No," he said, "I didn't."

"You di-"

"No, Jack. I didn't. I'm not... gay. I have a girlfriend, I'm not..."

"Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you're not bisexual," I told him.

"Stop. You're wrong. I can't-" Alex looked down and sighed, "Look, you should go."

"But-"

He cut me off, "Just please go..."

I froze in place, a lump formed in my throat keeping me from speaking. I hopped off the counter and didn't move to leave. He didn't say anything so I left.

The walk back to my house was kind of long, not too bad but it still sucked. I could've called my mom, because by this time she was off work but I didn't see the point. I couldn't figure out why I was so upset and the walk would help me clear my head, so I walked.

The more I walked the more upset I got. I thought I would calm down after the initial shock of being asked to leave someone's home. I'd never been asked to leave before. I was sure that was the reason I was upset.

I surely wasn't upset by him. I was only just getting to know him. I mean, sure he was cute and cool and he was nice and smart when he wanted to be, but I couldn't actually like him.

I just needed him to realize he was at least bi, and leave Lisa. I didn't actually want to date him. At least that was what I kept telling myself.

-

"Hey, Honey," Mom said when I finally made it home, "Are you okay? You look upset."

I sighed and walked to the stairs, "I'm fine."

"I don't feel like that's the truth."

"It's not," I told her, "But I don't even know what's wrong so I couldn't even begin to explain it to you."

She shot me a small smile over her shoulder, "If you figure it out I'm always here. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, Mom. I know." I trudged up the stairs and to my room where I threw myself on my bed.

My phone went off with a text notification. I pulled my face out of my pillow to see it was Alex. I didn't even remember giving him my number. It must've happened during one of our tutor things. I couldn't remember.

Either way, I didn't respond to his message because I didn't want to say something I'd regret. That would ruin everything.

After a few more minutes of wallowing in self pity, I sat up on my bed and calmed myself down. Being a big baby about the situation wouldn't change anything. This was not personal, although sometimes it felt like it, this was a mission. I had to keep that in mind.

-

The rest of the weekend I spent in my room alone. I turned off my phone because I kept getting texts from him and I didn't want to see it. Monday morning I couldn't stop thinking about him as I got dressed. I put on my favorite outfit, the one I looked best in. Tight black jeans and a band shirt, with a black short sleeved button up shirt over it.

It was kind of funny. It was like I was dressed for the funeral of Alex's heterosexuality.

I went into school the same time as I did everyday. Sure enough there he was, with her, in the hall. I didn't even look at them as I walked by. Even as Lisa muttered something cruel about me being gay to all her friends I just walked on, head held high.

The best part was that I could feel his eyes on me as I walked by, then my phone buzzed in my pocket. I checked later and sure enough it was him, asking if we could talk at lunch.

I debated whether or not to reply, but we had the next period together as partners anyway so I decided not to. I obviously got there first so I sat down and pulled out my phone so I could look busy.

When Alex sat down next to me I didn't even look up at him. He was giving off a really nervous vibe. It was weird to think I could make a guy like that and him of all people.

A few minutes after Mr. Hills dimmed the lights and started the power point a small piece of paper landed on my notebook. I'd only stolen glances at Alex so far but at this point, when I read 'to: j from: a' on it I had to look at him.

"What? Are we in the third grade?" I asked him playfully in a hushed tone.

He looked down at his hand and I noticed then that he was holding a cupcake from the other night. "No, just-"

"Boys," Mr. Hills said, cutting off Alex, "Please be quiet back there. I know this isn't exactly exciting but this will be on the quiz."

Alex and I nodded silently and he went back to his lesson. Alex poked my arm, pointed at the note, mouthing the words 'read it', and handed me the cupcake.

I pursed my lips looking at the cupcake in my hand. That was really sweet of him. I picked up the folder paper. It was kind of cute after all.

A: can we talk later?

I quickly scratched out a reply and passed it back. I told him to meet me out on the bleachers for our lunch period.

He nodded and surprisingly stayed quiet the rest of the class. When it let out I could tell he wanted to walk with me or talk to me or something but I didn't give him the chance.

Again, I could feel him looking after me as I left the classroom, and that was exactly what I wanted.