forgive forget - john murphy ff

f - "without losing a piece of me,"

One day after Eden promised Murphy that he wouldn't die, he was released from the dropship and was told to stay in Eden's tent because "she was the only one who would bother with him" according to Bellamy.

The night Murphy slept in Eden's tent for the first night, he couldn't sleep. It was simple as that. His brain was definitely more awake than his body was. He slowly got up from his makeshift bed, trying his best not to wake Eden and walked outside the tent. It was probably the middle of the night, but the bonfire from the previous night was still burning bright, illuminating the camp. He sat down by the fire and began to go over his thoughts.

He felt so inadequate. Everything about him. There were only two people who cared for him in the camp; one of them was dead, and the other was so delicate that to love her would be to crush her.

He missed Mbege a lot. He had learned earlier that day that he was dead. Murphy had wanted to cry, and sob, and hit a rock. But mostly he wanted to cry. But he didn't because they couldn't know that he was weak. He had just smirked and brushed it off. Eden had looked at him strangely. She knew how close they were, and she had wondered why he wasn't sadder. But just like him, she brushed it off, knowing that he had his reasons for what he did.

Murphy had always felt alone. And now he felt more alone than ever. What was it that made him so alone? Were his walls to thick for anyone to even see that he was kind? Why didn't people like him? He wanted to be loved by people. He wanted Bellamy to see that he wasn't going to hurt people. He wanted people to not automatically assume that he was the person who killed someone. He wished that he could be happy.

A wish come true is all he needed.

A bright light from the previously dark night sky interrupted his inner dialogue. The light shot across the sky; almost too quick to notice. But Murphy noticed it, and he knew what it was.

A shooting star.

An aggressive, yet happy, sob rattled through his body. This was a sign. He would be happy. If not now, then soon. It might take a year or a day, but he would be happy. The fire was almost out now, so he stood up and walked back to his tent.

Sighing as he laid back down, he closed his eyes and finally went to sleep and dreamed of happiness.