Guy Goes Nuts

Smíchovské Nádraží (Laughter-Place Station)

"What just happened?" Dore pondered while weaving through a throng of commuters making their way off the platform in all directions. Apart from his dry mouth, he felt drained from that short tram ride and strange encounter. He wasn't quite sure why or what had happened. Fatigue gripped him, and he had to steady himself for a moment on the red and white guardrail separating him from the busy oncoming traffic. His vision swirled, and he heard subtle popping sounds in his inner ear. He tried to shake it off as he followed the platform path leading to the crosswalk.

Dore was quite sure he had blacked out for some time on the tram. This would happen from time to time to him ever since he was a boy, but this last one was substantially more arduous than ever before. The only thing that had stuck in his mind was what that old woman said, "To je to nejmenší co pro tebe mohu udělat, když jsi teď kvůli mě málem zemřel." It roughly translated to: "It is the least I can do, seeing that you almost died because of me." He was baffled by this statement. "Why would she say that to me? Did I almost die back there? How could I have?" he thought as he unknowingly passed by the crosswalk, lost in his thoughts. "Why else would she have said that?"

At that moment, Dore looked up and realized that he was just starting to walk into oncoming traffic. He quickly darted across the street, nearly clipped by a red 1984 Škoda Rapid as it held its horn in disapproval. "Promiň (Sorry)," Dore hollered out as the young driver with dark sunglasses gave him the finger from the passenger window high above the rooftop.

Dore was hit by yet another dizzy spell, breaking out in a cold sweat as his hands trembled profusely. He quickly reached around for something to stabilize himself once again. He was met by a long queue of commuters waiting for the bus. They apparently all saw the offer and he received a mixture of concerned and critical glances.

Now embarrassed and still staggering, Dore tried to make his way towards a nearby grey electrical enclosure in order to gather his bearings. The trouble was that he was so disoriented that he could not coordinate his legs to move in the desired direction. With every step he took, his legs would cross and almost trip over one another, toddling about. As he struggled to find his balance, the queue continued to watch without the least hesitation to lend a helping hand; typical bystander effect.

He even caught a few of them whispering about him. He made out the words: "opilec (drunkard)," "pijan (drunk)," and "alkoholik (alcoholic)" as they judged his unwitting antics. But they did not know him or what he was going through. "Couldn't they tell that I am in distress from the near catastrophe that might have taken place moments before on the road?" he contemplated while still struggling to gain his balance once more. "Do they not understand the consequence of shock? I could be epileptic, diabetic, or hypoglycemic for all they know. Why must the population invariably conclude that one is drunk while unbalanced in public?"

In errant frustration at the judgment he was receiving from his fellow citizens, Dore dramatically slumped down onto the ground to better embellish the subversion of social norms and irk the more distinguished individuals. His manner was purposefully gauche as the thud of his body sounded as he thumped to the pavement, grounding himself.

Gasps and contention came from the crowd as more people began to see what was gaining so much attention. This gave Dore considerable satisfaction. He was quite amused to cause such distress by a small act of social deviation. Yet, he began to become conscious of the scrutiny that he was gaining, and his anxiety started to mount as his chest began to thump. But by this time, he started to notice that by grounding himself and diverting his attention from the earlier shock that took place on the road, his dizziness subsided, and he was able to stand once more.

He dusted off his pants and continued on his way, but he forgot where. He just kept moving, hoping he could jog his memory. Though he realized that it wasn't necessary. What sounded like a commotion around the corner caught his attention, and he found himself right where he wanted to be. Or so he thought.