The Avacado/Box Fic

Whoa.. Hold up?

Not soon after they'd finished, Phil picked up the box and swirled its contents around: "Hm.." Phil began, "It's still rather clumpy, I guess I better go get a whisk"

"Wha-no!" Dan trembled, remembering what he had seen with Tyler.

"I don't mean-" he burst out laughing, "I just.. Be back in a sec" he rushed off the kitchen to acquire a whisk.

Dan wondered what Phil was about to do with the whisk, until he looked below him, "No.." he gasped. Dan was trembling.

Phil came back a few seconds after, with a whisk in his right hand, a demonic grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye. He did his weird flight attendant like voice, "Mr Howell, your fun has come to a halt. Please remove yourself from the box.." he giggled.

Dan, who was trembling more than he had been, got out of the box, 'maybe this is his payback for Striker..' Dan thought to himself.

Phil picked up the box and whisked it like his life depended on it.

"What are you doing??" Dan asked desperately, not worried, or panicking, but confused.

"Whisking it up- gotta whisk it up til its smoooooooth" sung Phil, he seemed cheerful enough to be his normal self.

Dan sat back and watched Phil, with half of his head filled with, 'Delia Smith would be proud' and the other half with, 'why is he mixing cum and avocados together?'

Phil gave a satisfied smile: "Oh, I know what this needs.." He glimpsed at one of his house plants and ripped off three of its leaves, before ripping them into tinier pieces and putting them in the box/

"Uh, Phil..?"

"Shhhhhhhh.. just lay on your front.. In your existential crisis position.."

"Hm, oh.. but-"

"DO IT"

Dan sighed, "death is inevitable.." he slowly flopped into position.

Phil sat on Dan's sore thighs, getting the box, and placing it to the side of himself.

Phil put his hands in the box and scooped out a large amount of the mixture and slapped it on Dan's back.

Dan shuddered.

"...uh"