Unspeakable - Phan

Eleven

T H I R D  P E R S O N

-

It had been a week since Dan and Phil had confessed their love to each other. Phil was having a tough time at school. Behind Dan's back, loads of the jocks would corner Phil in the hallway and abuse him. Mentally and physically.

Phil would deny all of the bruises, and the scars on his arm. Saying, Oh clumsy me. I walked into a wall!, or, a rose thorn must've scratched me! 

Dan, of course, never believed it. He did get annoyed that Phil didn't tell him the truth. It was like he didn't trust him.

One day, Dan saw Phil doing something he never wanted him to do. Cut.

It was a rainy day, the air was bitter and cold. They sky was dull, and dark. Dan had gone over to Phil's to hang out. Phil hadn't invited him, but Dan thought Phil needed some company.

Phil was in his room, sliding the sharp blade across his pale skin. It was the only form of relief he had. Phil was sobbing quietly, his arm covered with blood.

When Dan walked into the room, what he saw broke his heart. But he felt angry, and upset. 

"Phil? What-What are you doing!" Dan asked, the tone of his voice angry.

Phil turned to look at Dan, his eyes watery. "I thought it would make me feel better," he sobbed.

"Make you- Phil you are acting so selfish! I mean, what about me?" Dan growled.

"Dan, what?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you Phil."

"W-What? Why are you acting like this?" Phil sobbed louder, "I though you loved me!"

"I though you loved me too. Guess we were both wrong, then." Dan turned round and grunted.

"Dan, don't go! Please," Phil whimpered.

Dan knew he felt pit for the boy, but he shrugged. tomorrow was the weekend. The first weekend without Phil.

"Bye Phil."

"Bye, Danosaur," Phil whispered. Dan heard what he said, but his heart was rock hard. He felt nothing. He was dead. Dead inside.

He slammed the door behind him, leaving Phil broken. This game him more reasons to kill himself. Dan was his only light, but the light was dimming, becoming darker. 

Dan had changed. He was this sweet, kind boy. One that cared about Phil and one that loved him. But now, now he was just the same as those bullies. The ones that beat him.

Phil grabbed his phone, his hands shaky and sweaty.

It was almost the holidays. He couldn't bear spend it without Dan. That would've been his worst nightmare.

To: Danosaur 

You want to see me dead, don't you? You want to see me in pain and dying, don't you?

Phil started sobbing again, his throat throbbing, his eyes stinging.His phone buzzed again.

From: Danosaur 

Fuck off.

To: Danosaur 

Answer me. It was a simple question Dan.

Dan didn't answer. Phil waited for hours, staying up in bed. He realised Dan wouldn't text him back. 

Phil got out from his room, and ran outside to the lake. He just laid there. He didn't want to be alive. He didn't need to be alive.

Dan was mad. Mad at Phil. Mad at himself. He refused to eat. He refused to do anything but sit in his room.He felt bad for saying that to Phil. Dan finally worked up the courage to ask Phil the question that had been lurking in his mind.

To: Lion

Why did you do it.

From: Lion

Because no one cares. Not even you

To: Lion

Why would you think that

From: Lion

Because, in my time of need, you didn't fucking bother to ask if I was okay or to comfort me! You yelled at me!

To: Lion

Answer my question

From: Lion

I did it because whenever you're not around, the guys beat me up. Everytime I came into class with a bruise or a mark, it was from the boys.

To: Lion

Why didn't you tell me?

From: Lion

Because then you'd worry, and I don't want you to worry about me. You've got enough going on in your life.

From: Lion

Dan, you're really cold. You have a cold heart. I really did thought you cared. I realy thought you were in love with me. Guess I was wrong, like always.

Dan groaned. Phil was right. There was a lot going on in his life but Phil was hurt. He did care. He just hid it. He dreaded the weekend tomorrow. He'd be alone. Without Phil.

Dan was thinking of a plan to make it up to Phil. Make him breakfast, buy him flowers. No, nothing could make Phil forgive him for what he did. What he did scarred his heart. It was glued to his mind.

Phil wished that this was all a dream, or that Dan was going to come over. But he couldn't face Dan. He would've yelled at him, screamed, then sobbed.

He just wanted someone to comfort him. To love him. And he wanted that person to be dan, but Phil thought their time together was growing short. 

Phil wanted to die more than anything. He couldn't stand living. He missed Dan so much. But he had become so cold, and cruel.

Phil didn't fall asleep. He stayed awake, growing tired, but no matter what he couldn't fall asleep. No matter what, he couldn't.

He felt broken, and dead.

-

DONT KILL ME

WOW I CRI EVERYTIME

ANYWAYS THANKS TO redgreenblue6 FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT VIEWER AND BEING AMAZING

ILY AL

BYE <3