Uncrowned : A memoir

Candy

Candy. That was what my mother was known as in the streets. I don't know much about what she did but I know she is what you would call a boss. She was beautiful and fashionable. A hustler in every since of the word. She was also tough and handled herself well. She was desired by many and envied by plenty. She was respected and detested by many alike. My father was a high ranking gang member with a reputation that preceded him. In short he was that nigga. Well one of a few back in the 80's. He set eyes on my mother and with his good looks, deep pockets, and charismatic personality, he was the one to win her heart. She never told me much about him and her. She can't stand him to this day. I know that at some point they were in love the evidence of that is my big brother Damien and myself, as well as a tattoo on her wrist that says Carl, his name. How many people would tattoo the name of someone they don't love in their body? None. She was his lady buy at some point, the love died and at that time my mom was about 6 months pregnant with me. She was living with my dad and his mom at the time and there was a knock at the door. She answered it to reveal a woman who was just as pregnant as her asking for her baby daddy. Both women were pregnant by my dad and my mom saw that as a point of no return. She left him.

A few months later
November 24, 1991
According to my mother my birth was quick and painless. I guess I'd more than make up for it later. I was a beautiful baby girl and she named me Te'Carra Mone' Murphy. I'm her first girl and I can imagine that she loved me at that point. My father rejected me. His mother Madreena said I wasn't his and he agreed. My mother was never into ass kissing she'd always say why would she pin a baby on a man that don't have shit? She kept it moving without him and moved on rather quickly. 11 months later October 5, 1992 my mother was in labor with her third child. Another girl, she named her August. August had a different dad and she was born prematurely. For the first few months of her life she was a sickly baby in and out of the hospital. At that time my mother was hustling trying to provide for us. What happens next I don't know the full or true story. There have been so many discrepancies as to how my mother lost custody of my sister and I. I was a little over 1 and oddly enough I still vaguely remember the moment we were taken. I remember crying and saying I want my mommy. I remember the feelings I felt of fear and confusion. We were being taken away from our mom and it would be a long time before we found our way home. We were being put in the back of a car with a woman we didn't know.