Shards and Ashes ~ A Vampire Academy Fanfic

Chapter Twenty-Four

"Can I hold your hand?"

I look up to stare into viridian green eyes. I can't help but smile shyly. It's been two days. Two days of flirtatious exchanges, shy glances, and the inevitable: There's no going back. I suppose it is nice, this little something we have. I can't describe it as more than puppy love. Not even that, considering he can't even hold my hand without asking. What do you call something like this?

"Are you asking or stating?" I ask. My hands are wide in the open, on opposite sides of my body. Julius sits beside me, looking painstakingly nervous. It's cute in a way, I guess.

We are sitting on the front library steps. I'm bundled up in a white cashmere sweater Lissa loaned me and my combat boots. I sadly had to abandon my black leather jacket for warmer apparel.

"Umm, whatever you prefer, Darling," he says, a smile tugging on the corners of his face.

I roll my eyes and pretend to choke myself. "Enough with the couple names. They're so. . . stupid. Besides, I haven't even officially announced us a couple, yet."

Julius runs a hand through his raven's hair. Soft as a raven's. I have to remind myself not to reach out and touch it.

"Well, how about something else, then, Sweet Pea?" I scowl at him. "Or Angel cake? Honeysuckle? Boo? Oh, how about Muffin-Patty?"

"Muffin-Patty?" I laugh and shove him playfully, and when I see that irresistible smirk of his, I grab his cheek and plant a quick kiss on it. "You. Are. An. Idiot."

"I thought you said I was intelligent?" he asks playfully.

I kiss him on the cheek again. "I lied."

I settle back down and flip the next page of War of the Worlds, another book Julius recommended to me. He sits beside me, but his eyes aren't on his book, which is Einstein's Theory on Relativity. They're on me. I want our eyes to connect, but I don't want to look at him. I can't get so crazy or so serious with him, yet. I might never be able to.

"Have you told your friends yet?" Julius asks me. I look up from my book and bite my bottom lip. The skin there is tender, from where I have bitten it so many times in the earlier days.

I sigh and say, "No. Not yet. I want to know this will work out before I tell anyone." When I see his face, I backtrack. "I don't mean it that way. I just. . . I want to know this is serious. That it will all work out."

Julius nods. "Would there be any reason for it not to?"

I sigh again and I brush away a strand of chocolate hair. "The chase might be better than the catch."

"Possibly," he says, nodding gently.

"I just. . . don't want to fall in love, or anything like that, and then things not work out because we aren't compatible." I pick at a loose thread on my sweater. "I don't want to get my heart-broken again."

"Again?" Julius' eyebrows perk up. Oh, crap. I realize what I just said. He doesn't know about Dimitri, or anything about me in particular.

"It's nothing. . ." I exhale deeply. I haven't told him about Dimitri. Or Lissa. Or anything about my life. He doesn't even know me. "Julius?"

"Hm?" He asks, his hand trailing from my neck to the small of my back. I sustain a shudder, but only because it feels good. Comforting. Warm.

"Why do you like me so much?" I ask. "I mean, you barely know anything about me. What makes you find me so interesting? You could do a lot better. What made you choose me?"

I feel Julius scoot closer and put his hand under my chin. He raises my head so I'm forced to look at him. He smiles, not a smirk, but a smile, and that's strange. I have only ever seen him with that witty grin or a sly smirk on his face. Never a sincere smile. It's strange. I like it.