Poems and Drabbles

Lifeless Boy

Title of Poem: Lifeless Boy

It hurts like it never did before,

Your words cut through my memories,

Like knives in an open wound,

And I have nothing left to do but cry.

Yes, I'm not afraid to admit it,

I cry myself to sleep every night,

Hoping and praying that you'll come back,

But I know you won't, because I'm not what you want.

Love... is this love? I don't think so,

It's so much more, it goes so much deeper,

And every second spent thinking of you,

Makes me hurt and bleed until I have nothing but pain.

I like the pain I feel for you, I really do,

Even if this is the only thing you will ever give me,

I'll take it because it means something to me,

You mean everything to me... I'm not bothered, I'll hurt for you.

And the thing is... you know, I won't stop waiting,

I'll wait until my days end, until death comes for me,

I'll wait for you for eternity, I'll keep on waiting,

Until my eyes burn and my heart turns to dust.

They say I have no chance of being with you,

I know they are right, I know you live in another world,

But what if you wake up one day and realize,

I was always here for you, I was the one who always cared?

What if you wake up? What if you decide I'm worth it?

What if? What if all this time I'm wasting isn't for nothing?

I can't stop thinking about you, you are in my mind all the time,

You've been in my mind for so long, you've become a part of me.

I am crazy, I know I am, I am an obsessed person,

Obsessed by your smile, your eyes, longing for a kiss...

Or anything, a word out of your mouth, a glance my way...

It won't come... all the things I need from you won't come...

But I don't care, I'm crazy about you and you know it,

I feel like everyone knows it just by looking at me,

I'm staring at you now, I always am staring at you,

What else can I do? What else do I have?

I tell you I love you all over again in my mind,

I tell you all I have felt for such a long time,

I tell you about my dreams and the future I planned,

But to you it doesn't matter... my perfect nightmare.

My perfect marble statue, you never smile when you look at me,

In your words there is no emotion of any kind,

Is disgust an emotion? Because I think this is all I'll get from you,

Can you look at me for once without cruelness in your eyes?

Can you ever love me like I love you? Can you even try?

I guess not... but what can I do? I'm stuck inside my mind,

And thoughts of you are everywhere... why can't you feel a thing for me,

Am I really that hard to love? Am I that hard to look at as a lover?

Or maybe as a friend... all I want is to feel you close to me,

All I need right now is you, no matter what you decide to be to me,

I need your hand in mine from time to time,

I need your touch to make me feel like I am worth something.

I know I've gone insane... this is my reality now...

You are my reality now, what can I say so you would take me seriously?

I'm not just a kid, I am more, I am a man, I could be yours,

If only you would ask... but I know you won't, you have too much already.