The Urge

The Urge

By JJ Murilega

At a moment like this

What should I do?

Most would pray

To a being they only think is there

Not me

I have no such creature

Others might talk

To a friend

To family

To a lover

Not me

To my friends

I'm the strong one

To my family

I'm already enough of a worry

I've no lover to speak of

I'm taking medication

I've gone to the hostpial

I'm trying

Really trying

But it's not enough

The urge is there

Always there

Just under the surface

Begging

Waiting until that moment

That moment when I become too weak

Too weak

To fight off the urge

Too weak

To stop the flow of red

Too weak

To cry out

For the help I know I need

But strong enough

To pick up the blade

And cut

Just a little deeper