Gotta Be Him (A Niall Horan Fan Fiction)

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Chapter 31

*Rachel's POV*

I stare out the window, my mind wandering when I should be writing that essay. This topic is so boring. Ironically enough, I tried to choose the most interesting topic to do it on, but obviously, I failed.

"Having trouble with your report too?" Riley chuckled, not bothering to look up from her laptop.

I didn't need to answer, she already knew I was having trouble with this. Instead of being a good girl and continuing my homework, I close my laptop and check my twitter. The first tweet I see is Niall's.

@NiallOfficial: Just watched a volleyball game and I'm getting into the sport now!!

I smile. This tweet is directed towards me, the girl who loves volleyball more than anything. Except Niall. Niall told me he would try to tweet things to me but would do it discreetly so no one would know it was directed towards me. Like: @NiallOfficial: Just watched Titanic, brought back some memories. Or: @NiallOfficial: Thinking about painting my room blue and green, think it can work?

It's so cute how he is doing this. He is bringing me up on twitter and no one even knows. Except me. I love this boy.

"Knock knock." Mikey says, standing outside our open door.

"Come in." I smile at my boyfriend. Or is he my boy friend? Well to him, I'm his girlfriend so I guess he's my boyfriend.

"Hey Chel, you want to go out to Starbucks?"

"Sure. Let me get my purse-"

"It's on me. Don't worry."

I give him a grateful smile. "Thanks Mike."

I reluctantly intertwine my hands with his and we walk out together. It's been two months since he left for tour again. That leaves four more months. Four months of anticipation.

Mike seems excited and worried. "Babe, what's wrong?" I ask, putting my hand on his knee, causing him to jump a little. "You seem a little... anxious."

Mike flashes me a smile and waves off the question. "We're here. Why don't you find us a booth and I'll get us our drinks. Caramel Frappuccino?" I nod. "I'll be right back." He leaves me alone to find a booth.

I walk over to an empty booth. Finally! I can walk without crutches. It took me two weeks to easily walk without them, but it's worth it.

I tap my fingers on the fake mahogany table and wait impatiently. I was never one to be patient.

"Back." Mike whispers in my ear. I twirl around to see my boyfriend holding two Starbucks cups and two apple tarts.

"Thanks." I smile at him and give him a kiss on the cheek. I thought Riley was the actress in this friendship, but sometimes I have to act like I'm in love.

Mike sets down our things and stares in the distance for a while. "Um, hello, this is no time for daydreaming babe." I joke.

Mike turns his attention to me. "Sorry... just, thinking." He smiles at me again. "Whoa, what's that?" He points to nowhere in particular.

I look in the direction of where he is pointing and search for the thing he is so amazed by. "I don't see-" I stop mid sentence.

Mikey is on one knee. "Will you marry me?" He asks humbly, a pretty big rock in his hand.

"Mikey, I don't know what to say." I gasp.

"Just say yes."

That's the problem. I don't know how to say no without hurting him. I stare at the large gem extended out towards me. "It's a bit too early for this, isn't it? We've only been dating for four months."

"It could be a long term engagement." He reasons.

"I'm not ready though, I'm still in college -my first year- and... and..." I sputter.

"And what?" He asks, slightly annoyed.

"And I still haven't recovered from the accident Mikey! I don't even remember anything but the two and a half months after that the accident that involves you! Other than that, it's a huge blank! I don't even know where we met!" I'm now extremely emotional, sobbing.

"Oh, gosh, how selfish am I? You... you... you still don't even remember anything and I want you to marry me! Your in such a tough situation and I'm here trying to put more on your plate!" Mikey scolds himself. Wow, what a scene we must be. A sobbing girl and a boy yelling at himself on the verge of tears himself. I control my tears and look around the coffee shop, seeing we are receiving many glares from people who would prefer to enjoy their coffee in peace.

I watch Mikey scold himself for a while longer before I stop him. "It's fine Mikey. The point is: I'm not ready. I'll think about it though." I don't need to think about it though. The answer is no.

We sit in silence for a little while, sipping our drinks and take bites our apple tarts. "I'm going." I get up and turn towards Mike. "Thank you."

I walk home, thankful for the time alone and the fresh air. Should I tell Niall? No, he will kill Mikey. I may not love Mikey but to me, he is a brother.

I have to tell Riley though. She is calm and collected. Riley isn't jealous of Mikey either, so killing him shouldn't be on her agenda. We need to seriously talk about this.

For a while now I have been thinking of ways to break up with Mikey. More and more memories are flooding back to me. OK, they aren't flooding back to me. More like coming to me in little leaks at a time. If that makes sense. Anyways, those memories with Mikey were never sincere and don't even have the chance of coming close to sincere. All those actions were to make Niall think we were over.

But then again, I promised Niall I wouldn't make any decisions until he came home. That included my final decision on the proposal. Even though I'm 110% sure the answer is no. I will have to wait until I'm fully prepared.

I stop walking. A memory flashes through my mind.

*Memory*

After I had found out he was cheating on me, I found more pictures with him -all of them at the grocery store- and felt jealousy build up inside me.

Niall cheated on me. His lips were smashed against another girl's. Tears stung my eyes.

*Memory over*

I start running. To where? I don't know. I'm just going to find a place where I can be alone and away from all different types of people.

Now I know how I felt when he cheated on me. I remember the feeling of betrayal. The feeling of knowing you have been lied to. It's not a nice feeling.

I'm going to say no. To both Mike and Niall. Mikey deserves better than me and Niall doesn't deserve me at all.

Yes, I'm back at square one, but do I care? No.

My phone vibrates and my jacket pocket and I check to see who dares to bother me at this time. Of course. It's the one and only wonderful Mr. Horan. (Note sarcasm). I hit the button that not only says what I'm going to do to his call, but to him: Ignore.

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Uggh, writers block sucks. Sorry that Rachel's emotions have been going back and forth but when you get hit by a car you can expect that. I'm gonna try to update and I need a trailor for this book. CONTEST! OK bai, luv ya.