Awake and Aware

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Jasmyne

"Happy birthday baby." I kissed Jared on his forehead."You ready to go?"

He was staring out the window. Much like Jasarie used to do. He was just like her. Having never seen her awake he has managed to pick up a lot of her traits. He only got like this when he was upset or thinking as he calls it. Exactly what my sister would say.

He hopped onto his feet and looked up at me. "Can we wake up mommy today?"

"It's not up to us to wake her up tiger."

"Why my mommy always sleep, why she don't wake up?"

I opened my arms for him."Come here."

Tears filled his eyes and his little voice cracked. "I want her to talk to me, why she always sleep?"

"She's gonna wake up as long as she gets to hear your voice every day."

I try my best not to let his mother's situation negatively affect him. He was a growing boy and I knew there would be questions. I just did not expect them after five minutes of being five. Hanging out with his cousin's has made him extra inquisitive over the years.

"Mommy got hurt real bad a long time ago, she needs a lot of sleep to get better."

"Can't she wake up now, she don't have any boo-boos."

I sighed. "She's gonna wake up soon."

"I want her now."

I had no idea all of this was on his mind. He was usually the happiest one in the house. This kid as strange as he was could put a smile on anyone's face. That movie last night had heightened his sensitivity. It was all about a mother and her kids. I had no idea it would have taken such a toll on him.

Not having Jasarie around has been hard for him to understand. Living five years without her has even been hard for me to accept. I taught Jared to love her with all of his heart. He is old enough to know his mommy should be awake and with him now. It pains my heart that she can't be with us.

One of the doctors had suggested letting her go. She had been on life support for two months. They had given up on her and wanted to convince me to do the same. One day they removed her mask to replace it only to discover that she had started breathing on her own again. I had that horrible doctor remove my sister's name from his patient list. I could never do that to my sister or Jared.

I knew she would wake up and if I had to wait twenty-five or more years I would. Jasarie was a tough one she did not croak so easily. She had her son to fight for. She had her whole life ahead of her.

******************************

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

A strange sound pounded into my ears. It was disturbing my sleep and I could feel an ache growing at the back of my skull.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

No, not an alarm clock. I have heard this before. Where? At the movies. No. At work? The fax machine. No. It did not sound like that. At a hospital? Yes, that is where. Wait, what?

I opened my eyes my body felt weird. It felt like something or a lot of heavy things were placed on me. I gathered my thoughts. The beeping sound meant there was a heart rate monitor in the room. This could mean I was in a hospital. I tried raising one of my legs then I became aware of all the constrictions my bed had.

There was a tube hooked in my nostrils. I managed to raise one of my arms this time there were needles stuck in it. No doubt they were in the other arm as well but it felt weird and warm. As far as I could see there were wires stuck all over my hands and chest, they were connected to all sorts of mechanic contraptions.

All of this could only mean one thing. I lived. I must have had a guardian angel looking out for me. I could have sworn Steven and Roy had come back to kill me. I could not even remember being rescued.

I felt something move. I think it was my arm or leg everything was a bit disorienting. I felt it again. What was that? That was not me. The warm sensation disappeared from my other arm.

A little face appeared above me. What the heck? Where did he come from? Why did he look so familiar?

He smiled. "You wake up."

Stunned beyond words I shook my head or I think I did. This little boy, Was he my little boy? Oh my goodness. I had a son. This was my baby that I fought so hard to protect. He lived through it all. We did have a guardian angel looking out for us. I wanted nothing more than my baby to live and he did.

"No no." He dabbed his little hands on my face. They were so soft and warm. "I sorry, I just wanted you to wake up, I don't want you to cry. You can go back sleep if you want."

I had no idea that I was. Just seeing how much he has grown brought tears to my eyes. "I'm never going back to sleep baby." My voice was dry and cracked but I had to let him know.

He leaned over and hugged me."You stay with me?"

I wrapped my mobile arm around him. "Forever baby."

This was all a little scary to me. The last thing I remembered was being tied to a chair crying for my baby.

Now there was a little boy in front of me. Crying because he has been waiting for me to wake up. I took a breath and took in every little detail about him. His black curly hair. His cute button nose. His bright brown eyes. A mini reflection of his father with my eyes.

His father, Kyron. The love of my life. Where was he? I decided to forgive him. I no longer cared about what he had done to me anymore. Life was too short to stay mad forever. It's crazy I know it but that is what love did to people. It drove us crazy and I loved that man like crazy.

"Jared." A young female voice called. "Wake up its time to go."

His name was Jared. I picked that name for him. It was the only name I had written down on my list for boys. He ..wait, what am I saying? Who was that?

Jared did not move and I was not going to let him. I looked over at the girl. She was the pit of her mother. "Jodie."

Her eyes went wide. "Aunty Jasarie... You're... Wow..."

Jared looked at her."I stay with my mommy."

"Hi, baby girl."

Tears filled her brown eyes. "Mom!"

I smiled she was still as loud as she was when she was five.

"Mom, come quickly!" She cupped her hands around her mouth. "Ma! Come on!"

Jasmyne came running. "Jodie, what's the matter?"

"Look." She pointed toward me.

She walked over to the bed. Her mouth fell open. "Jas, what took you so long?" Tears filled her eyes.

"What did I miss?"

*****************************

Looks like someone got their birthday wish. Jasarie is finally awake. Five years have gone by just like that. Will she be able to adjust? I am sure she would.

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