When in Budapest

4: Telling Another

It was the middle of the night in the new base in New York, when Natasha woke from a nightmare. She was curled into a fetal position on her bed, holding her arms to her stomach and crying. Natasha didn't cry--she could count all the times she'd cried on one hand--not often.

How could Clint just leave her like that? He knew she'd been having a hard time lately, so why? She hated to admit that he was her weakness, but she needed him. She needed him to wrap her up in his steady arms until all the pain was let out.

Natasha held herself tighter. If she cried it out, maybe the nightmares wouldn't come to her for the rest of the night, maybe she would forget for a while.

The wet hot tears dripped down her cheeks and over the bridge of her nose. She hated crying, it made her feel weak, always had, always would. She was trained to be an emotionless assassin; she should not feel pain, she should not feel remorse. Yet she did.

She needed Barton, damnit! Natasha needed to talk about it, and he was the only one that would understand out of the few that knew. She wouldn't talk to Tony because he's, well, Tony. Bruce stole a quinjet to Fiji. Hill was busy helping Fury who had more important things to worry about than Natasha having a breakdown.

What Tony said sprang to the front of her mind. As much as she hated to think about it, she could talk to Pepper. The woman was trustworthy enough to know this secret.

Before she even realized what she was doing, Natasha had slipped into a pair of converse (they were comfortable!) and her gray sweatshirt, grabbed the keys for her corvette, and jogged down down to the garage.

She wasn't sure whether or not to be surprised that Agent thirteen was down there and stopping her. "Romanoff? Are you okay?" Sharon put a hand on her shoulder, looking overly concerned. It was probably because of the red and wet cheeks.

Natasha shook her head, not able to admit the word out loud. "I'm going to the Tower."

"When will you be back?"

"Soon...I think."

Sharon didn't seem to want to let her go, but she nodded anyway. "Drive safe."

"Thank you."

Without another word, Natasha hopped in her car and left. It took a good three hour drive to get to the city from the base. So by the time she reached the garage for the Tower, parked her car, and got in the elevator, it was almost six.

"JARVIS is Pepper here?" She sincerely hoped this wasn't for nothing.

"Yes, Agent Romanoff. She is sleeping, do you wish for me to wake her?"

"Please. But don't bother Tony, I don't want him to know I'm here yet."

"Of course."

There was something else she wanted to tell JARVIS...oh! "And please tell Pepper to meet me in the penthouse."

"Will that be all?"

"That's it."

"It will be done."

"Thank you JARVIS."  

The doors opened to the elevator and she immediately went to the bar to get herself a drink. She was praising every deity in existence that Stark bought Russian vodka. Natasha didn't even bother with getting a glass, she carried the full bottle to the couch and twisted the cap off as she sat down. 

The elevator doors pinged open again. Natasha leaned further back on the couch, propping her feet up on the glass coffee table and taking a deep swig of vodka. 

"Natasha?"

She waved the bottle in the air to show Pepper where she was sitting.

Pepper padded over to where she was and sat on the couch across from her. "It's kinda early for you to drive all the way down here, isn't it?"

Natasha took another gulp. "Don't ever tell him I said this, but Tony had a really good idea."

The ginger huffed, "I wouldn't dare feed his ego. What was his idea?"

"To tell you what happened in Budapest." Pepper paused for a moment and Natasha was sure she'd heard stories. "Every tall tale you hear has one thing in common, it's always gross and erotic. I don't know why they always do that." She took a swig, "It's really quite annoying."

"Natasha."

"I got pregnant," She said simply.

Pepper understood why the other redhead was drinking so heavily now. "What happened?"

Natasha smirked, "Hasn't that been the question for the last three years?" She took another drink, then set the bottle down and leaned forward. "You can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you, Pepper. Even Tony, though he knows some of it, I'm about to tell you everything. The only other person who knows this is Clint, and you can't tell him either. I don't want him to get upset that someone else knows."

"Would he really get angry?"

"Natasha shook her head, "No. But I don't want him knowing that I need to talk with people other than him."

Pepper raised an eyebrow. "Okay. Fine."

"Good. Break that promise, and I'll have to kill you."

Pepper rolled her eyes, "You wouldn't"

Natasha ignored her comment and began telling of Budapest.