"This is the story of how I got lost.
And he tried finding the way back"
Story trailer made by @MarqNorell . Check her work out,give her a follow.She is great.
Cover...
Three years of snuggling together on the couch on Saturday nights,talking on the phone for hours late at night knowing we'd have to wake up for school hours later.We didn't care .He'd come to school the next morning coffee in hand a huge smile ready to greet me.
He would walk me to class to make sure I didn't skip.Everyone knew I was never one to skip.Everyone knew he only did that to spend more time before classes with me .
For three years,he accompanied me to every class,brought me coffee every morning,and made up cheesy excuses for a goodbye kiss.
For three years,he was able to keep me sane,to give me warmth and happiness.He gave me a feeling only Nathan West could ever give me.
He knew deep down that even when I frowned there would always be a smile for him.That even though I never laughed at his corny jokes I was merely holding in that laugh to annoy him.
I talked about my flaws.I would always list them off without noticing.He would frown-the only times I would ever see him not smiling-and tell me I was beautiful to him.
Sometimes I wished I could see what he saw.See the beauty he went on and on about.
Unfortunately,even after three years of trying I never have .Instead I am blinded by the hideous cloud of insecurity.
He hated seeing me put myself down.Hated finding me in the middle of the night curled up in a corner crying,knowing I'd been doing it for hours.
I hated having to call Nathan at 4 in the morning on a Friday night crying.I hated having him see my weakened states.I hated having ot have him wake up before the sunrise to console me when he knew he had football practice the next morning.
He would never complain refusing to leave even after I'd force myself to stop crying and to put on a smile for him.Deep down I always knew he never believed it.And was thankful for that.
He would always say "I love you El with all my heart".Those words would somehow mend my broken state.They were like a magic spell that was powerful enough to take down the walls of insecurity my mind had built to guard my heart.
And yet the next day the walls would build themselves back up as I stared at myself in the mirror the next morning before school like they were an automatic reaction to such an everyday activity.
The walls were so strong they prevented me from believing Nathan's words.It was almost as if I'd forgotten how to love the guy who'd kept me standing for so many years.I let the words my mind said to me cloud my whole being .
Eventually I led myself to believe I wasn't good enough for Nathan West.That the love he showed me I would never be capable to show him.
I let the only thing in my life keeping me happy slip from my fingers.It happened so fast.We drifted apart so easily.
Or so my mind led me to believe.I forced my heart to ignore Nathan's attempts to care.
I would argue with him.
I would lie to him.Tell him I was fine.
The biggest lie of them all being that I didn't love him anymore.
The most painful was that I didn't ever want to see him again.
My mind prevented me from realizing the pain I was causing him.The heartbreak I would put him through.
And yet Nathan West fought the pain.Despite my attempts at forcing him away he tried pulling me out from my clouded thoughts.
He fought the words my mind told me to believe.He bagan to lead me back to my sanity.
Him.
He fought for the three words I hadn't said in a long time.....
I love you.
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