𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐓 || 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄𝐒

Chapter Twenty-Three

H.
"I want you."

The feeling of Taissa's lips on mine was still there, even after two weeks. I hadn't heard from her since then, and I had began to think she was angry with me. She didn't answer my texts, nor did she call me back.

I didn't care about the wedding anymore.

My mind was scrambling for the right words to say to Nancy every time we were together. But there's no easy way to break off an engagement, is there?

I sat in my office, filling out paperwork whilst also trying to come up with a way to get a hold of Taissa.

That night at the club, I had only intended to tell her how I felt. I couldn't keep it in anymore. I was spiraling again, feeling all the mistakes I had made begin to suffocate me.

I should have have been honest before. I should have let Nancy go instead of making her believe I was over Taissa and ready to start our lives together.

I had never been good with feelings. Expressing them was hard, especially when there was always that feeling of failure inside of me.

Once again, I had failed. To let Taissa be happy, to give Nancy a life she wanted.

As I finished up, there was a light knock at the door.

"Come in," I said, not caring to look up.

My assistant, Gwen, stepped in and said, "Mr. Styles, there's a woman here to see you. Says she's a friend. Taissa Connors?"

I dropped my pen onto the paperwork, finally looking up. Taissa had come to my office to see me. My heart raced and I said, "Send her in."

Gwen nodded before disappearing. I quickly tidyied up my desk, shoving my work into my briefcase and tossing my lunch from hours before into the trash. I took a deep breath, making sure I was presentable.

The door opened and Taissa walked in, waving a little as she smiled. I stood up and hugged her, shutting my eyes tight as I buried my face in the crook of her neck.

"I've missed you," I mumbled, kissing her cheek. She stiffened and I could sense that something was wrong. I pulled away, keeping my hands on her shoulders. "T, what's wrong?"

She stood there, looking tired.

"We have to talk about what happened," she said quietly. "We can't pretend like it didn't happen, and we can't sneak around like we're kids again."

I watched as her lip quivered.

"What are we doing, Harry?" She asked, voice breaking.

"That night. You and me..."

"Harry, we were both drunk," she said. "I mean, we left our friends so we could..."

That night at the club, Taissa and I somehow managed to escape our friends and had found a secluded area towards the back. It was darker, more private and stuff happened.

She was right. We were both intoxicated that night but we knew what we were doing. I was afraid of this; her regretting everything.

My shoulders slumped in a defeated sigh and I went back to sit behind my desk. She sat down in the chair across from me, folding her hands in her lap.

"I don't regret it," she mumbled, her words taking me by surprise. "I mean, it was wrong. But I think... I think something like this was bound to happen."

"I didn't want it to go down this way," I said.

"You should have told me the truth at the start, Harry. If you had just told me how you felt, Nancy and Zayn wouldn't be in this mess."

"I know," I said. "I don't want to do it. I don't want to marry her, and I mean it this time. I'm not in love with her and considering what we did, it's obvious you don't love him either."

Her face fell and she looked like she was going to cry again.

"I'm such an awful person," she sniffled.

She covered her face with her hands and I had never seen her so vulnerable. I stood up and quickly walked around the desk, kneeling in front of her.

"Hey," I said, placing a kiss to her forehead. "You're not an awful person, do you hear me?"

Taissa shook her head.

"Yes, I am. I cheated on him. I'm breaking his heart and he doesn't even see it because he likes me too much."

By then she was crying and I didn't think before I pulled her up and wrapped my arms around her.

"Taissa, please," I begged. "Please don't cry."

What had I done? Why couldn't I have just kept my feelings to myself? Why did I ever leave her to begin with? I was a selfish person. I hadn't realised I was ruining her because I only cared about myself.

I had to fix this somehow.

"Taissa," I said, holding her face with both hands. "You tell me what you want and I swear, I will give you so much more."

Her eyes moved rapidly, like she was searching for something. She gulped before saying, "I want you."

•

The smell of chicken filled my nose when I walked down the hall to the kitchen, loosening my tie. I took a deep breath before pushing the door open, giving Nancy a smile.

"Hi, love," she said, kissing my cheek. "How was work?"

I sat at the table, clearing my throat. "It was uh, tiring. Same old stuff, I guess."

Nancy nodded. She served us dinner and set my plate in front of me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't have an appetite, nor did I have the energy to even do so much as hold her hand. She laced our fingers together, my eyes landing on the ring on her left hand.

She didn't deserve to have her heart broken. She was still a good person even when we had our differences. But Nancy, no matter how many times I lied to myself, wasn't the one I wanted to marry. The one I wanted to grow old with, or have a family with.

Nancy didn't know me like Taissa did; didn't understand me like she did.

"Harry," Nancy's voice broke my thoughts, her eyes locking on mine. Her blonde hair framed her face perfectly and her smile was pretty. "You okay?"

Not at all.

I couldn't lie to her, it wouldn't have been fair to either of us.

"No," I choked out. I shook my head, pulling my hand away from hers. "Nancy, there's something I have to tell—"

Right before I could finish my sentence, Nancy's phone rang from the counter. She stood up, excusing herself to answer it.