Disoriented ! Troyler AU

April

Dear diary,

Everyone has that friend with the perfect relationship, you know the ones that have been together for years and never had a falling out, the couple everyone envies. That friend was Louise Pentland. Her and Matt had the relationship and here I am falling for a guy who I'm not sure even exists! Seriously you wouldn't believe me if I tried explaining my day, of course I will that's what a journals for but you've had a fair warning, now it's story time.

Yesterday was Louise and Matts wedding day. I rented a fancy tux and went to a hair dresser to have my hair styled, anyone would think it were my wedding day with all the effort I put into my appearance but Louise is one of my best friends, I had to. My mom drove me to the venue since she's still in town, just incase I got too drunk to drive myself home (or vise versa) and we actually made it on time. The venue was the same place we went to last month for the ball, even though to this day mom denies that ever happening claiming she'd never seen the place before in her life.

Louise looked beautiful in her elegant dress with her hair and makeup done, makeup that matt ruined with his stupid romantic wedding vows. I'll assume that you know how a wedding works diary because I'm not a celebrant it isn't my job to teach you, basically an old guy said some things then the couple say some things then the old guy says a few more things and they kiss. Boom you're legally married aren't weddings fun.

The wedding itself wasn't exactly a blast but the reception couldn't be described in a better word. Children were laughing, the happy couple were dancing and I was simply enjoying the music. Matt hired a wedding singer and his voice was something else. A good something else of course it was beautiful. It wasn't until he stopped singing and started speaking that I knew where I had recognised it from.

"Before my next song I'd like to propose a toast," it was very very hard to forget that accent believe me diary I tried but even with my best efforts "to Louise and Matt, may they be very happy together" that was Troye Sivan. It was difficult to hear over the sound of champaign glasses clinking and children's laughs turning to cries without the notes of Troyes voice soothing them back to bliss but soon he said something about slow dancing and started singing 'I can't help falling in love with you'

His voice was smooth and clear and quiet yet powerful. Soothing, in a way. I know social norms say you can't call a guy's voice beautiful, but his was. It was the promise of tomorrow. It was beautiful, and I wished that he would never stop. Of course he did, he announced he'd be taking a short break and for whatever reason I felt myself being pulled towards him, like there was a magnetic force or something clique.

'I liked that song would you like to get a drink?' Is what I should have said but because I am me I ended up saying and quote "You have a beautiful face- I mean voice! Not that you have an unattractive face your face is just as attractive as the next possibly more but um your voice is very-" and then he cut me off with a thank you mixed into some laughter. I remember thinking that his eyes were always really bright when he spoke to me but maybe that's just because I have a better view. I like to pretend it's because of me.

Before I could (awkwardly) ask him if he wanted to get a drink the sound of silverware tapping on glass stole everyone's attention, including Troyes which I won't lie did get me a little jealous but that's pathetic so forget I said anything.

I love Louise with all my heart I really truly do but listening to her grandmother tell the story of how she met Matt for the 3rd time after telling it wrong the 2 times prior, was even less entertaining than it sounds. At some point I yawned, not to be impolite just quickly getting bored of the story she had just started again for the 4th time now.

I could tell Troye shared my boredom later whispering into my ear a "do you want to go somewhere?". Obviously I replied with "hell yes" and he started casually walking toward the entrance/apparent exit. I didn't realise I was supposed to follow until he was pointing and nudging his head toward the door mouthing 'the coast is clear' a fucking dork.

The door led to a small hallway with a bunch of other arches and doorways, ones I knew I'd get lost in so I politely waited against the wall for Troye to join me along with whatever was taking him so fucking long. He did join me of course within what was probably a few minutes but felt like hours without his company; too sappy let me backtrack.

With one hand behind his back he led me to what seemed like a smaller version of the ballroom with a sheet covered something in the middle and huge windows lining the walls. Because it was night and I'm a sucker for stars I ran to the window to watch the night sky and when I turned back around Troye had taken the white sheet off what I now knew to be a piano and had laid it on the wooden floor. He placed a bottle of champagne in the middle with 2 glasses and when I though it couldn't get any more chic flick he was holding an arrangement of flowers.

I'm sure anyone else would have run up and hugged him or something, I on the other hand was yelling at him for stealing the bouquet. It was Louise's fucking wedding day for gods sake. Eventually I let him off and agreed to share a bottle of bubbly with him, that boy has me wrapped around his finger already. We made a toast to weddings and true love which ultimately led to the longest conversation about my romantic life id ever had!

He told me about this boy he kept meeting, he said he had glasses and he swore every-time they ran into each other the boys hair was a new vibrant colour. I did find I had some things in common with this man but he went by "Matthew" usually, so I didn't think much into it. I told him that I kept running to a boy that looked suspiciously similar to him, I told him that the boy danced with me all night and sang to me and Troye told me he could do one better.

The next thing I knew both of us had abandoned our glasses and moved toward the grand piano. As a child I would exclusively listen to Beethoven and Mozart (nerdy I know) but I can honestly say that he played better than any composer I had ever heard. His eyes sparkled and he bit him lip in concentration, ngl it was hot!

Though I did begin to miss holding his attention, I said "that was okay but the other boy could dance" so Troye, not standing down when challenged, pulled out his phone and started playing a slow song from some alternative group I'd never heard of. He held out his hand as asked "may I have this dance?", I've never liked how vague the word swoon is but did I ever swoon.

The thing about the ball was our movements were in sync it was beautiful, this time however we both had two left feet. We were spinning and dipping and skipping and majorly tripping across the small ballroom and it was one of the greatest nights of my life. A song we both knew came on shuffle and we were singing along like idiots. It wasn't the most romantic night of my life, it didn't feel like I was in a film or a romance novel, I just felt happy. I was totally blissed out and loving every minute. He acted like a antidepressant in human form, a happy little pill.

Time wore thin and we had to part ways, the music from the reception faded and you could just hear Matt's voice calling for Troye something about needing to pay him for his services. I doubt either of them ever noticed his absence, those two don't notice anybody else when they're together (what did I tell you perfect relationship). He added his contact into my phone, the same number only this time he saved it under 'Troye Mellet'.

The next morning and same old same old, I rang the number and nobody answered, I asked Louise for the wedding singers name and she said there was no singer at the wedding, i found the bouquet he gave me in the back of my car where I left them last night, I now have the same number saved in my contacts as "Troye", "Troye Sivan", "Troye Mellet" and "No Contact Information".

It's like on the one hand I'll never really find him and keep him so why do I even bother. But on the other hand I know why I bother, I bother because he's kind and attractive and talented and looks after me and does things nobody's ever cared enough to do before and he makes me feel all warm and tingly. I would say he's more work than he's worth but he's worth so much more than any measurement when he makes me so happy.

I've had it rough these past couple of years diary. I had the closest most caring family and they split over something I couldn't change about myself. I had the high school romance you only see in movies and he got into a car crash. I found the only person who's made me happy since the accident and I can't even keep track of him. I've been through so much these past couple of years diary don't I just deserve one god damn thing!

With love,
Tyler Oakley