Friendships, Relationships and God knows what else

Ok, so staying up till blues starts to colour the sky is not a good habit. I suffer from insomnia, so I write.

Tonight I have a confession to make. I'm not as strong as people think, I can't conquer all their problems. I can barely handle my own.

School, friendships, relationships and god knows what else.  Its hard. Every teenager knows this. So why do i have to explain this every time i freak out on my friends?

OK I get that getting mad is NOT the right answer but I cant help it. My head hurts from acting like everything is ok when its not. A fake smile and held back tears is all i can give you right now. I'm sorry. 

But I guess you are wonder why I'm so upset. Right?? Well I'll tell you.

It was HIM. You know the "big jock" every girl wanted to be with and every guy wanted to be? Yeah HIM. Everything about him was perfect, perfect smile, perfect hair, perfect grades and all that jazz.

My best friend Ava was madly in love with him. I mean who wasn't?? Everyone but me I guess. I can't stand his.... everything. He was TOO perfect. But little miss Ava the brown haired, hazel eyed girl with her head in the clouds and her DC shoes stuck firmly to the stage. She LOVED him. 

She was a singer, a actress and a dancer. Yeah, triple threat. I don't know why she chose to be best friends with someone like me. I was a strait nobody.

My ruby red hair stood out among the rest and my blue eyes made it even worse. In high school it's NEVER a good thing to stand out unless you have something to fall on.  

I wore things I felt comfortable in. But they were never things Ava approved on. I always had my thick rimmed black glasses. I didn't need them to see but I loved the way they looked. They also worked well when i was late for school and didn't have time to put eye make up on.

And then there was HIM. My kind of HIM. He was a nerd (give or take the glasses). He loved all the same kind of music and styles as me. I adored him, but I rarely ever talk to him. 

On that chilly fall morning i decided to change that. He walked by my house every morning to get to school. I walked out the second I saw him and "accidentally" ran into him on my way out.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention," i said with a humble smile.

"It's okay... um is this yours?" He bent down and picked up my ipod. "Oh, I didn't realize I dropped it," I honestly said, "but yes it is."

"What are you listening to?" He said as I took it from his hands. "Oh nothing just some classical music to go with the grey clouds. its calming to me."      

"I see,"      he smiled. 

His smile made my heart beat faster. 'How could anyone be so charming without even trying?' i wondered. Before I knew it we were walking and talking about our likes, our dislikes, school and homework. His name was Henry.

We came to the school parking lot way to soon. The bell rang, "Um i was wondering if u wanted to sit with me at lunch?" I nodded with a smile. We quickly said our farewells before hurrying to our lockers then to our first classes of the day. 

"Lunch please come faster." I whispered to myself. I smiled the rest of my classes until finally the bell rang signaling the beginning of our lunch break.