My Story

I dont care, i love it

I know

It been forever since I've posted but i hit a big rough patch and am still trying to mend it.

Currently, I'm in the hospital. Ill be out Wednesday and today is Monday. I tried to kill myself but a group of doctors saved me. -.- stupid doctors. All my friends say how glad they are I'm alive and try to convince me that I'm ok. But they are not me and I know that I am not ok. I'm broken and weak and useless. Why do people say they like a worthless girl like me?

You know what really gets on my nerves tho? When people say they know what I'm going through and that they get it when it's obvious they don't. Don't try and pretend you do because trust me, you have no idea what I am going through. Bullies never end, anorexia, hospitals, loosing loved one, disappointing everyone you know, loosing friends by the second, trying suicide but can't succeed when you know it's probably what is best. Those are just a few of my many many problems.

Jonnie is living with my aunt and I, like I said earlier, am in a hospital. No fun at all. It's so crappy here. They all try to say that ill be fine and that I'm overreacting but I know that I am not. I'm not really known for overreacting.

You know what else bugs me? On Instagram people tell me to die and when I tell them I will the people who told me to kill myself beg for me to stay. It's so confusing! Do u want me alive or not make up your damn minds already.

I can't wait to leave this crappy place. The first thing I wanna do is swim. It looks so nice out and idk it's just making me in that sorta mood. Another thing is my grandma promised me if I stayed clean from anorexia for at least 2 months I could get a tattoo!!! Woo hoo!! I really want on on my right shoulder going down to my back or on my ankle. I promise I will stay clean, get a tattoo, and then no promises after that:)

Stay sexy.

Hope i didn't bore u to death :3

-tori