Color Blind

Chapter 7

No sooner had I gotten rid of one bodyguard, another started following me around. Lafayette had begun to do exactly what Scott had done when he first found out that I was raped. But unlike Scott, Lafayette hawked every move I made. He was trying to see who in the school I acted funny around. I had to be extra careful not to avoid anyone because I knew that the very first guy that I backed away from, Lafayette would have pounced on, no questions asked.

Finally, I had to make Lafayette stop following me around, too. He was starting to put me more on edge than Lucky, always looking to jack somebody up. I told him that I didn't need the stress because of the baby, and he left me alone. I still can't believe he bought that.

Scott and I had been spending more and more time together and it eventually became clear to everyone that something was going on between us. The black folks and cheerleaders kept asking me what was up, but I denied everything. Then all the guys started asking Scott a bunch of questions, but he just never answered them. After a couple of months of this, it was also getting harder for me to hide my pregnancy and another rumor started going around that I was pregnant with Scott's baby.

Talk about scandalous! White girls were getting pregnant by black guys all the time, but no black girl had ever gotten pregnant by a white guy before. It was all over school, and everywhere I went the kids were always whispering and looking at me. Of course, I kept denying that I was even pregnant in the first place, but no one believed me. Scott, God bless him, never confirmed or denied the allegations. I guess he figured somebody had to be the one who got me pregnant, and it couldn't be Lucky.

Also becoming more and more obvious was the fact that I needed to get off the cheerleading squad. It was dangerous for me to be jumping around so much and getting thrown up in the air like that. A few of the girls commented on the fact that I had gained a little weight, but it was pretty evenly distributed, so it just looked like I was getting thicker, but not pregnant.

One day, my mother sat me down and asked point blank, "Rica, do you want to tell me something?" I shook my head no. "Look here, missy, I know you and that little white boy been hanging around each other a lot, now what's going on?"

"Nothing ma."

"I don't believe you." Her eyes narrowed. "Are you still a virgin?"

"What?" I looked away quickly, cheeks burning.

"You've been fuckin' that boy haven't you!" she exclaimed. "Don't try to fool me, Rica. I call tell. You've been putting on weight in your butt and everyth...." She stopped suddenly and grabbed her chest like she was having a heart attack. "Oh no! Oh please no, Rica! Are you pregnant?" She spit the word out like it was poison. When I didn't answer, she jumped up and ran over to me. "You are! You have that devil's seed floating around inside of you. Oh Lord!" she threw her head back, still grabbing at her chest. "Do you know what you've done? Do you?"

The anger on her face frightened me into saying something...anything. "No mama! It's not him! It's not his!"

"So you are pregnant!" she cried and reached back her hand. The slap that landed across my face sent me reeling into the kitchen table. Blood started pouring from my busted lip.

"Get out!"

"What?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I said get out! You know whose baby that is and I will not have it in my house. Unless you're going to have an abortion, which I strongly suggest, I don't want your trifling, dirty little ass in my house either."

I stared at her with wide, fourteen-year-old eyes and shook my head, panicked. What she didn't know was that it was already too late for me to have an abortion.