just ➳ j. jungkook

三

「just a bad habit」

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jungkook pocketed his cold hands into his thick north face coat. he snuggled his face into the warmth of his red scarf. fallen cherry blossoms gracefully littered the sidewalk, painting it an elegant pink. he carefully stepped over a puddle of water, making sure to keep his timberlands clean.

kim taehyung, his best friend, walked beside him. he occasionally bumped  into jungkook and blabbered endlessly about the elephant he had on his arm.

as jungkook walked through the busy night street, his eyes lingered on a small bakery shop window. a rainbow of colors exploded in front of his eyes. cake, cookies, any baked good you could imagine, in any color you could wish for, were there.

she would love it, was jungkook's immediate thought.

he silently walked to the bakery, ignoring taehyung's calls. the bell above the door jingled loudly, signaling his presence.

the bakery was a child's heaven. the sight of the pure sugary sweets made jungkook's mouth water. after all, he was still a child at heart.

jungkook came out of the bakery seven minutes later, his arms full of baked goods.

"you're going to get diabetes, jungkookie!" taehyung laughed. "are you going to eat them all?"

taehyung eyed the bag greedily.

"they're not for you," jungkook stuck out his tongue.

taehyung pouted.

"jungkookie! sharing is caring!" taehyung whined and stomped his feet childishly.

jungkook rolled his eyes. "they're not for you," he repeated. "they're for..."

jungkook's voice trailed off, and his eyes widened as he caught himself. her name had almost slipped out his mouth.

he had almost forgotten the worst day of his life. the day he had his heart broken by his first love.

"you know what, taehyung?" jungkook mumbled. "take them."

he shoved one of the two brightly colored bags into taehyung's awaiting arms and forced a smile.

"um... i-i have to go," jungkook stuttered, determinedly avoiding taehyung's eyes. he didn't want to bring up the topic again, knowing that it would lead to a spiral of awkward questions. he would just be left wallowing in misery and self-pity at the end.

"bye," taehyung waved, his mouth full of cookies, crumbs dusting the side of his mouth.

jungkook couldn't help but chuckle at his best friend's actions as he turned around and walked off into the chilly night alone.

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jungkook walked aimlessly into the night, too deeply entranced with his thoughts to care where his feet were taking him.

suddenly he stopped and looked up.

he had found himself in the driveway of her house. why had he walked here?

to jungkook, it was like a bad habit.

everything he did, everywhere he went, everything he saw seemed to remind jungkook of her. and that made it all the more difficult to let her go.

somehow, he couldn't bring himself to hate her. even though he had his heart shattered and stepped on, when he had tried to piece his heart back together, a part was missing.

she had taken a piece of his heart when she left. so now, jungkook's heart will never be whole without her.

taehyung told him that "time heals all wounds" and that one day, jungkook would be over her.

but as jungkook stared longingly at her door, tempted to just run up and ring her doorbell to tell her how much he missed her, to wrap her in his arms, he knew that this love was true. he knew he would never forget her. he knew he would never forget this love.

he knew he would never give up on this love.

he rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a pen. jungkook messily scribbled a note onto the bag.

from: kookie ♡

jungkook walked shyly up to the door and carefully placed the bag of cookies onto her doorstep. his fingers hovered over her doorbell, trying to find the courage to press down. and when jungkook finally did ring her doorbell, he turned swiftly and walked away.

from a distance he heard the door open, and he heard her scream his name, but he did not look back. jungkook knew that if he looked back, he would just break down, right then and there, when he saw her. it took jungkook every ounce of his strength to resist his heart's desires and not go running back into her arms.

a lone tear slipped past his eyelids and rolled slowly down his cheek as he walked further and further into the darkness.

"i miss you."

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