Who am I?

Chapter 1

Why did I agree to this? Why did I say yes? I don't belong here. I don't need this. I can't handle this place. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy god dammit! All these thoughts were going through my head as I was directed down a long hallway. I felt like a cattle being led to slaughter. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go home. I didn't belong in a place like this. Only crazy people did, and I am not crazy. Maybe a little unstable but I didn't need to be in a crazy house. I don't care what everyone else thinks. I was not trying to kill myself. I wish I could go back a day and change everything but I can't. I never would have done what I did if I had known it would land me here. Here, to a place I never would have imagined myself being, ever. I've only ever heard stories of places like this and none of them were ever good. And they didn't happen to people like me. They didn't happen to normal people. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be with my husband and kids. But instead I'm stuck here for who knows how long so I can "get better" as they say.
I had agreed with the doctor to try it because everyone was worried about me. But now that I'm here, I'm petrified. This entire day had been a roller coaster of emotions and I'm just ready for it to be over. I should have been having dinner with my husband tonight for our anniversary but instead he was signing me into a mental institution. What a way to spend our anniversary.  I could laugh at these circumstances if I didn't feel like crying so much. Why did I have to put up with so much crap in my life? Why did bad things always happen to me? Life has never been fair to me though so why should I expect it to now? I guess I just have to suck it up and get out of here as soon as possible. This place scares the crap out of me.
The nurse walked me down the long hallway and I felt like a deer in headlights. It was late already and most of the patients were already in bed I figured. Except two of them. One patient was on the phone and the other was at the nurse's station cursing them out.

"Fuck you people! I'm not crazy! I don't belong in here. You people are keeping me here unlawfully!" the lady screamed. "Get me my fucking medicine you pieces of shit!" she was an older woman, who appeared to be in her 50s. She was not dressed in regular clothes but rather in two typical hospital gowns; one on her front and another on her back done backwards to cover herself. Her hair was astray and sticking out everywhere. She fit the stereotype of what you would expect of a patient here.
"Calm down Dianna. We will get you your meds and then you should go lie down." One of the nurses told her.
"I will not calm down! I've been here for 3 weeks already and no one will tell me when I'm gong home!" she yelled. She was extremely agitated and looked like she was going to explode with anger. Three weeks? She has been here for three weeks? Crap. I didn't want to be stuck here for that long. The doctor who advised me to come here said it should be about three to five days maximum. And now finding out one patient has been here for over three times that length. I can't handle that. I could feel my panic surfacing. I can't stay here. I will go crazy if I'm stuck here that long. My heart started to race and I could feel my breathing start to get erratic. Just then, the girl on the phone started screaming at the person on the other line. I don't know what they were saying but it seemed to be some kind of lover's spat. And with that she slammed the phone back on the receiver and stormed away.
"That will be your roommate for your stay here" the nurse informed me. Well with that I completely lost it. This place just kept getting scarier every minute. And now knowing I would be sharing a room with psycho number two I couldn't handle it. I started hyperventilating. I could barely breathe. I felt the tears start to well in my eyes and then overflow. The panic started to really set in. I was stuck. At this point I was in a full on panic attack and fell to the floor crying and hyperventilating. I could barely think straight. I don't know how but they managed to get me into a conference room and had me sit in the chair. The nurse started to ask questions but I barely remember them. I remember trying to speak while crying. The nurse gave me a pill to relax me and then showed me to my room. I lay down and my last thought before I fell asleep was "welcome to the loony bin Cassy"