When You Think Happiness (Tim McGraw One Shot)

When You Think Happiness

"Taylor, I got to tell you something..." Johnny's Nashville accent was muffled by the deep breaths he was taking.

I cuddled myself deeper into his chest to smell the cologne embedded in the plaid shirt he always wore. "What is it?"

"Look, this isn't going to be easy."

These words triggered something for me and it was obvious. My comfortable position turned into me straining myself to look at him in his steal blue eyes. "What do you mean this wont be easy? What's going on, Johnny."

He swallowed hard. "I got accepted to that school, ya know."

"Yes, I know." I interrupted him, "and I'm very proud of you!"

"Taylor, it's just... It's not going to be easy round here. I leave in a few weeks and then I'll be gone."

"Ya, but you're gonna come visit... You are gonna come and visit me, right?!" This was when I became even more alarmed.

"See, Taylor. That's the thing. You don't drive yet and I mean, it's a lot of money for me to go here and back every weekend and I don't wanna make you pay all that money, either."

I felt tingling in my nose and I knew it was a sign that my eyes were about to water. I squeezed his hands tighter and held back the tears. "Holidays though, Johnny. Ill see you then for sure."

"Babe, as much as I don't wanna say this, I have to. I have to do this. Holidays are one thing, you're right but there aren't enough of them."

I shook my head, "I'm not letting it end like this. We can do long distance we can make this work. I'll call you every night!"

Johnny kissed my forehead and I actually thought I felt a teardrop drip on me. "I don't wanna do this, believe me. but collage... It's so much different and..." He sighed seeing that my tears could not be contained any longer. "Come on, Tay babe, I don't wanna see those perfect blue eyes cry."

"It's hard to hold them back when you are fighting for something so hard and the one you'd do anything for is giving up right there. If this is about you thinking I'd be unfaithful, you'd be wrong." I gasped for more air. "There isn't any lower feeling than sitting in the back of your boyfriend's pick up, crying your eyes out and begging him to not drop everything you thought you had. "

"Taylor, it's not like that. Please, I can't bear to see you cry anymore. I already feel horrible. I don't wanna do this."

I stared at him and he wiped my eyes. "I love you Johnny. Please... Don't do this to me..."

He took my face in his hands and smiled at me. "When I get back, we can try again. But it's best. It's not that I'm scared you'll be unfaithful. I'm scared I will be." He leaned in and kissed me. "You know I love you. It's for the best. I don't want to hurt you more than I could."

Swallowing hard I kissed him again, trying to teach his lips a lesson an that they couldn't live without me. "I don't want to give up on this though, and say we didn't try."

"Next summer okay. Next summer when I'm back, if we're both single, we will do this again." He waited for an answer or some kind of reply that i didn't totally hate him but i gave him no sign. "Okay?" Finally, I nodded and agreed to his beautiful steal eyes. I wasn't pleased. "But as of right now, you are my girl. And I'm gonna spend the rest of the night with you." Johnny put his muscular farmer boy arms around me. "I don't wanna see you cry anymore. Your eyes put Georgia stars to Shame. They don't deserve this."

"That's a lie." I shook my head refusing to look at him anymore.

"What is?"

"Let's just go home..." I mumbled. This night went from great to bad to worse within hours and I was scared at what was next.